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Humor Articles and Ezines

Humor

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1. KICKIN' IT ON ROUTE 66
November 10, 2019


So, I’m relaxing by listening to the George Shearing quintet, sipping an Old Fashioned, and recalling a telephone conversation I had several days ago with a lifelong friend who lives two hours away in Tucson. We reminisced about a time more than 50 years ago when we made the trip west to what was then the paradise of Southern California. The place has since turned into a colossal septic tank that continues to reek, deteriorate, and levy tax upon tax on its citizens to support illegals, crooked politicians; and anyone else who claims they need a (whine) sanctuary. I mean, the place catche... (read more)

Author: Gene Myers

2. The Washington Nationals and DC Politics
November 01, 2019


The Washington Nationals and DC Politics How about the inspiring performance of the Washington Nationals, who “stayed in the fight” to become World Series champions? I must have missed Donald Trumps “Tweet” informing the world that he was solely responsible for the Nationals’ victory, claiming their success was solely derived from his political theme of “Nationalism.” Two former Major League Baseball teams in Washington were called the Senators. Although they did win the World Series in 1924, the adage about the former team’s record was “first in war, first in peace…and last in the A... (read more)

Author: Stephen Bye

3. LAST DANCE with the (faux) IRS
October 22, 2019


Recently, I wrote an essay entitled, SLIPPING AWAY, which was published by this online magazine. You know how you get those “I should have said” moments? Well, this blurb is one of those; that is, perhaps happenings I should have mentioned in that essay. There’s a Ben Sidran song performed by the NO NAMERS BAND called “Last Dance”, which is a metaphor for life’s conclusion with a pleasing jazz tune. Here’s the first and final verses: It’s your last dance / Your last chance / Find the one you came with / Make some romance / It’s your last dance, baby / Pretty soon we gotta go / We are here... (read more)

Author: Gene Myers

4. Airplane Toilet Challenges (Part IV)
October 20, 2019


Airplane Toilets-The Future of Airplane Travel (Part IV) Further down the runway, the airplane industry will change the use of toilets as follows: 1) Airlines will soon charge a fee for using restrooms in the coach section by selling tokens in the gate waiting area. 2) In the toilets, three thin sheets of toilet paper will be released twice. The amount of soap allotted will be a small drop. The faucet water will be limited to one strike of the handle and only one tiny napkin will be dispensed by an automatic sensor. 3) Ultimately, toilets in coach section will be eliminated comple... (read more)

Author: Stephen Bye

5. SLIPPING AWAY
September 13, 2019


It had been one of those bad days; a day so bad you might not brush your teeth just to project halitosis on those around you. You know the kind I’m talking about; one of those out-of-kilter days when everything rubs you wrong; the kind of day that puts you into a greasy, black funk, and momentarily you don’t care whether or not you exist. Yeah, it was like that. For me that experience is extremely rare, yet there it was; the kind of day that double crosses in style, and forces you into a smile so it can kick you in the teeth. I was one step away from punting puppies, going around stepping on a... (read more)

Author: Gene Myers

6. Airplane Toilet Challenges (Part III)
September 08, 2019


Airplane Toilet Challenges (Part III) After a long delay due to turbulence, a trip to the toilet in the rear of the plane can also be an adventure. After the seatbelt sign goes off, here’s what to do: 1) Act cool and roll your eyes when twenty people immediately rise and jostle for position in the toilet queue line. 2) Nonchalantly make your way back to the toilet twenty minutes later when the line subsides. 3) Curse at the clueless passengers who attempt to return to their seat and block your way to the toilet when they could simply duck into a vacant aisle seat. 4) Avoid touchin... (read more)

Author: Stephen Bye

7. Where Have the 58ers Gone?
August 06, 2019


I met Susan Joan Black Bacon in the sixth grade when she was just plain ol’ Susie Black. She was uncommonly tall with short black hair, and like many adolescents (myself included), a bit gawky. At that period in time, parents in my hometown got bamboozled into entering kids my age, and a year or two on the other side, into a weekly ballroom dance class called Cotillion. Boys had to wear coats and ties, and girls, nice dresses. Parents also suggested we pop Clorets in our pie holes (radio jingle: Chew Clorets, the gum delicious. It makes your breath kissing sweet) to avoid offending our partner... (read more)

Author: Gene Myers

8. Airline Toilet Challenges (Part II)
August 02, 2019


Airplane Toilet Challenges (Part II) How often have you had the urge to pee on an airplane when the attendants block the aisles behind your row with service carts? Obviously, the only option is to use the first-class toilet. However, one problem…the purser has drawn the curtain that separates the cabins. Here are the recommended steps: 1) Tug the curtain aside, acting confident like you’re a first-class passenger. 2) When the purser becomes confrontational, point at the service carts blocking your path to the rear restrooms. 3) Patiently listen to the purser’s lecture about the pri... (read more)

Author: Stephen Bye

9. LIGHT ANOTHER CANDLE
July 08, 2019


Happy Birthday to me! (Well, that was almost a month ago, and I’ve been procrastinating about writing this essay ever since.) That’s right, June 12 was the big day, and I ponder the miracle. Not the marvel that I’m still alive. I chalk that up to good genes, and a healthy and active lifestyle. I seem to be a pretty robust dude—so far anyway. No, I’m thinking of the miracle that I was even born—had a birthday. Think of it. Parents had to feel amorous at just the right time, and one of 100,000 to 400,000 eggs that contained future me had to be selected. Nine months later I saw a white light... (read more)

Author: Gene Myers

10. Airplane Toilet Challenges (Part I)
May 30, 2019


Airplane Toilet Challenges (Part I) Most of you have flown on an airplane at some point in your life and probably had to use the toilet facilities on a flight. Most of the older planes were better designed for travelers, however, as time has passed, the airlines have added more rows, shrunk the seat widths, eliminated a potty or two, and shrunk the size of the restroom. They might as well post a sign outside the toilet door… “skinny folks only”. Have you ever rushed to the gate to board a plane and didn’t have time for a last restroom stop? And then, how often is your plane held in t... (read more)

Author: Stephen Bye

11. Baseball...America's Favorite Nap-time
March 31, 2019


Baseball…America’s Favorite Nap-time The long, boring Major League baseball season has started and once again, the old fogies who control the rules rejected ideas about speeding up the sport…so baseball still barely edges out watching paint dry or grass grow in a list of most exciting events. The committee has some new concepts, but use Spring Training games or the minor leagues to test the ideas. I predict that one minor change will be adopted over the next twenty years. Team owners, however, are very content to maintain outdated rules to ensure that games continue at an excruciatingly s... (read more)

Author: Stephen Bye

12. The Mirror Rearview; Report # 14
March 17, 2019


Report # 14: An on-going series from Stephen P. Bye, a former Correspondent for the Mirror Rearview, a fictional newspaper in Laicos County, an imaginary USA municipality. Please refer to the previous thirteen reports on the seven-month history of the transformation that has occurred in Laicos County. March 17, 2019: I now write as an independent blogger, as I was terminated last week as a correspondent for the Mirror Rearview by their backward-looking ownership group. The Mirror Rearview readers supposedly indicated that my reflective columns violated the paper’s motto, “The Mirror neve... (read more)

Author: Stephen Bye

13. The Mirror Rearview; Report # 13
February 14, 2019


Report # 13; An on-going series from Stephen P. Bye; Correspondent for the Mirror Rearview, a fictional newspaper in Laicos County, an imaginary USA municipality. Please refer to the previous twelve reports on the six-month history of the transformation that has occurred at the three Laicos County public golf courses. (February 14) After several days roaming the streets of Laicos County I gathered candid comments about the recent decisions by the Laicos County Commissioners on the golf course operations and the new adopted tax measures. The following are direct quotes from answers to a fe... (read more)

Author: Stephen Bye

14. SOCIALIST PARADISE?
February 09, 2019


Bernie Sanders, Elizabeth Warren, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, and others have stepped up as crusaders in advocating that our constitutional republic (No, it’s not a democracy!) become a socialist economy. They spin it as “Democratic Socialism”. Now there’s a combination of two bad ideas. Like that’s really worked well over the centuries (snicker). I doubt that there’s a more shining example of governmental failure than socialism and its big brother, communism. However, in light of the so-called progressive (actually regressive) elitists and their fawning cadre, recall Nikita Khrushchev said in 1... (read more)

Author: Gene Myers

15. The Mirror Rearview; Report # 12
January 31, 2019


Special Report # 12; An on-going series from Stephen P. Bye; Correspondent for the Mirror Rearview, a fictional newspaper in Laicos County, an imaginary USA municipality. Please refer to the previous eleven reports on the six-month history of the transformation that has occurred at the three Laicos County public golf courses. (January 31, 2019) Yesterday afternoon, Alice N. Wonderland held a press conference to announce the steps the Laicos County Commissioners approved for dealing with the on-going losses at the three County golf operations, as well as recapturing the twenty million doll... (read more)

Author: Stephen Bye

16. The Mirror Rearview; Report # 11
January 12, 2019


Special Report # 11; An on-going series from Stephen P. Bye; Correspondent for the Mirror Rearview, a fictional newspaper in Laicos County, an imaginary USA municipality. Please refer to the previous ten reports on the five-month history of the transformation that has occurred at the three Laicos County public golf courses. (January 12, 2019) The Laicos County Commissioners held a public hearing earlier this week at the Laicos County Auditorium after an audit revealed that over twenty million dollars have been spent by the County on improvements made at the three public golf courses. It w... (read more)

Author: Stephen Bye

17. The Mirror Rearview; Report # 10
December 23, 2018


Special Report # 10; An on-going series from Stephen P. Bye; Correspondent for the Mirror Rearview, a fictional newspaper in Laicos County, an imaginary USA municipality. Please refer to the previous nine reports on the five-month history of the transformation that has occurred at the Laicos County public golf courses. (December 23, 2018): The Laicos County Commissioners held an emergency meeting last night to discuss several measures to stem the rapidly declining revenues at the three County golf courses. Operating losses have also mounted recently, especially since the implementation of... (read more)

Author: Stephen Bye

18. A New Lease On Life: Five Flops That Became Cult Films
December 15, 2018


There are hundreds of movies made every year, and while each one feels it has a fighting chance to be one of the best, a select few fall flat on their face & become cult films. At one time, having the cult film moniker attached a film meant that is was just a bogus movie being hyped up in arthouse theaters. Now, it’s not such a bad thing as some of the most popular movies of all-time are technically box office flops that have developed cult-like followings. Here are five movies that were once failures in theaters, but over time, they’ve become beloved by audiences around the world: T... (read more)

Author: Alfred Mears

19. The Mirror Rearview; Report # 9
December 09, 2018


Special Report # 9; An on-going series from Stephen P. Bye; Correspondent for the Mirror Rearview, a fictional newspaper in Laicos County, an imaginary USA municipality. Please refer to the previous 8 reports. (December 10, 2018) The Laicos County Golf Course Executive, ‘Duff’ Hacker, held a press conference today announcing new rules to be implemented for the three County golf courses, effective immediately. Hacker confirmed that at least twenty golfers have been hit in the head by golf balls over the past two months and three lawsuits have been filed by the players against the County. A... (read more)

Author: Stephen Bye

20. HOLIDAZE - 2018 Style
November 30, 2018


Deck the halls, breakout the egg nog, and hang up the stockings! Christmas Season is upon us again. Oh, and Happy Holidays to those of a politically correct persuasion. BTW, whatever happened to Season’s Greetings? Hey, do you suppose we could get a nativity scene by you folks if we called it a three-sided homeless shelter? Get back to me on that, will you? Like most, I’m normally filled with joy and goodwill this time of year. Love the music. Love the decorations. Truth to tell, I’m not much of a shopper, and I don’t care a fig about receiving gifts. It’s the overall atmosphere—the Holid... (read more)

Author: Gene Myers

21. The Mirror Rearview; Report # 8
November 25, 2018


Report # 8; An on-going series from Stephen P. Bye; Correspondent for the Mirror Rearview, a fictional newspaper in Laicos County, an imaginary USA municipality. (November 25, 2018) After my brief discussion with Jim Nasticks two weeks at the ribbon-cutting ceremony at Sausage Creek Links, I wanted to obtain a much greater perspective on his opinions about the revolutionary changes at the three Laicos County golf courses implemented by “Duff’ Hacker, the County Golf Executive. The following is my entire interview with Mr. Nasticks. Reporter: “I gather from you comments to me two week... (read more)

Author: Stephen Bye

22. MIDTERM Election Fallout
November 14, 2018


Well, thank goodness the 2018 midterm elections are over. The greatest benefit to me? No more gag-inducing television advertisements for candidates and propositions. (Whew!) Fortunately, I voted early, and was out of the country for the last two weeks of mud—feces?—slinging. Over the last 20 years, political candidates and their so-called appeals to the electorate have gotten progressively worse. Here are examples of what spews forth: 1. What I have done in the past to deserve your vote. This component is, in the main, equal parts hyperbole and fiction, and represents a relatively small ... (read more)

Author: Gene Myers

23. The Mirror Rearview; Report # 7
November 11, 2018


Special Report # 7: A series from Stephen P. Bye; Correspondent for the Mirror Rearview, a fictional newspaper in Laicos County, an imaginary USA municipality. (November 11, 2018) Yesterday, the County Executives had a ribbon-cutting ceremony at Sausage Creek Links to celebrate the grand opening of the renovated clubhouse. Alice N. Wonderland was given the honor of cutting the large blue ribbon at the front entrance of the building, as most of the Laicos County Executives linked their arms in solidarity. Lester “Duff” Hacker, the Golf Commissioner who orchestrated the transformation of th... (read more)

Author: Stephen Bye

24. The Mirror Rearview; Report # 6
October 25, 2018


Report # 6: Stephen P. Bye; Correspondent for the Mirror Rearview, a fictional newspaper in Laicos County, an imaginary USA municipality. (October 25, 2018); Last week, I met with Lester “Duff” Hacker, the Golf Director for the Laicos County Golf courses. The following is the full content of my interview with him. Reporter: “After three months in the position as Director of Golf operations, how would you summarize your accomplishments so far?” Hacker: “Terrific…I give myself a ten rating…naturally, on a scale of ten.” Reporter: “Have you decided to start playing golf to eva... (read more)

Author: Stephen Bye

25. Current Movies Not To Miss If You Love To Laugh
October 18, 2018


It’s no secret that the current movies you see being shown at your local movie theater are pretty deep, carefully crafted, and inspiring works of visual art that are certain to get buzz come awards season. While there’s nothing wrong with these movies, sometimes you just want to go watch a movie and laugh your backside off. It’s not that you don’t appreciate stellar acting performances, dramatic scripts, or flawless execution by a director. But when it comes right down to it, nothing pleases the soul more than just being able to let out a big laugh. The issue that comedies often run into ... (read more)

Author: Alfred Mears



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GENE MYERS

Author of four books and two screenplays; frequent magazine contributor. I have four other books "in...more
STEPHEN BYE

Steve Bye is currently a fiction writer, who published his first novel, ‘Looking Forward Through The...more
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Stevert Mckenzie, Travel Enthusiast. ...more
TIM FAY

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MICHAEL BRESCIANI

Rev Bresciani is the author of two Christian books. One book is an important and concisely written b...more
KIRAN KAUR

Kiranpreet (Kiran) Kaur, D.D.S., who received her Doctor of Dental Surgery degree from the prestigio...more
STEVE BURGESS

Steve Burgess is a freelance technology writer, a practicing computer forensics specialist as the pr...more
JOANNA MORGAN

Joanna Morgan has a huge passion for making money online from home and enjoys traveling around the w...more

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