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Love, passion, and mutual goals are not the most important things in a successful marriage. Communication is the key to maintaining a healthy and happy marriage for a lifetime. As deceptively simple as the concept seems, there is more to it than just reciting each other's routine while the television blares on in the background. For conversations to work there are some guidelines that should be followed. Quality and Quantity It isn't just enough to talk endlessly about the weather, nor is it enough to have one twenty minute emotionally charged discussion a week. Talking with your partner should be regular as well as deep. There will be times when this isn't possible due to outside circumstances; however, if there is simply never time you'll have to schedule it and make regular conversations a priority. Quality doesn't necessarily mean debates or discussing traumatic events. To have meaningful chat you simply must be present, attentive, and listen well. Other distractions should be put aside so you can take time to reconnect with your partner after a busy day or week. Regular and sincere talking can lift stress, ease frustrations, and loosen any lingering tension. Honesty and Trust Just as important as quality and quantity of conversations is the honesty and trust put behind them. Both partners should feel safe and comfortable to speak openly about their feelings, positive or negative, concerning their lives as well as the relationship. The only way you can let your guard down is to fully trust your spouse. If there have been infidelities or honesty issues in the past, marriage therapy can help you break through these barriers so you can start rebuilding trust again. Listen and Respect No matter how loving or close the couple, there will be disagreements, which is why respect is paramount to maintaining a healthy relationship regardless of differences. Listen to your partner's opinions, beliefs, and ideas without judgment and make compromises when necessary. Everyone has a different perspective and comes from a different background, so remember that even the closest of partners will not see eye to eye on everything. Never use cruel language or hurtful insults. A discussion is about solving problems and healing, not creating new wounds. Ask and Answer The best method involves asking direct questions and giving truthful answers. Often times our emotions cloud our rational thought, making it difficult for us to think of the right words; asking specific questions to your partner can help both of you focus. The more open-ended your questions the more likely you will receive a thoughtful response. Asking, "Are you angry?" will not help opening up. "What is making you feel angry right now?" is a much more direct question that will help you to get a much clearer answer. If communication is consistently tense and erupts in emotionally charged arguments that just lead to more frustration, marriage therapy may be needed to provide you with some valuable tools. Once a foundation for understanding has been established, most couples find that problems are much easier to work through and arguments are minimized and remain civil. Make your marriage work with the help of a marriage therapist who helps you understand the ins and outs of being in a relationship and maintaining it in a steady light. To know more, visit http://local.yodle.com
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