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An Orange County native originally took me to a hidden, al fresco, simply delightful morning cafe. I've since returned on numerous occasions. See, what you do is take a left coming off Balboa Island at Coast Highway then turn right at Dover. Once you pass Newport Harbor Lutheran Church, you make a left on (I believe) 20th Street, proceed maybe a quarter of a mile and look for a toy store, called Toy Boat, which will be in a strip mall on your left. Pull into the parking lot and follow the gap between stores, and you'll discover one of the greatest breakfast spots in Southern California--or anywhere else. The pancakes made from cornmeal and stuffed with fresh blueberries are insanely fabulous, and they poach eggs perfectly. I don't know how they do that. My attempts to poach eggs equals everyone else's on this-here planet: either there is a bit of runny albumen or semi-hard yolks. My new mission in life is to figure out how their eggs have perfect whites and yolks. But as much as I appreciate the place, my goal is not to write about a perfect breakfast place because two negative outcomes could result. If my blurb attracts more customers that could mean 1) I'll have to wait longer for a table, and/or 2) to accomodate more customers, the cafe owners will become enamored with cash flow and skimp on quality and service. Hey, I've seen it happen! Greed is insidious. Anyway, if you have any respect for my own personal selfishness, please stay away. Burn the above directions. My real purpose is to rant a bit about the name of the place: HAUTE CAKES CAFFE, which has a bit of a Haagen-Daz made-up vibe. Right there on one line is an abominable combination of French, English, and Italian. Maybe I shouldn't be so picky since it is commonplace in the US, and practically required in California, to use screwy Spanish words and phrases for marketing catch-phrases used in restaurants, streets, real estate developments, parks, etc. Even the snobby French pile on! In Paris, parking garages and lots have signs declaring Le Parking (luh par-kang). But I digress. Back to HAUTE CAKES CAFFE, which the locals pronounce as HOT CAKES CAFE. Why not simply use that? Haute, or more properly l'haute means "high"; chaud means "hot". CHAUD CAKES CAFFE... Doesn't sound too good does it? The look has a nice alliterative effect, but the pronunciation of the first word begins with an "sh" sound. Then there's the troublesome Italian word, caffe. No problem. The French word, cafe, easily replaces it although I suspect the owners think caffe looks more artsy-fartsy. Like Haagen-Daz. Sticking with French we can replace cakes with gateaux; and French words can't be used without articles so we'd have... DES CHAUD GATEAUX CAFE... Hmmm...sounds a bit like an abdominal surgical procedure brought on by too much caffine. Definitely NOT artsy-fartsy. Also, gateau means cake in the sense of the kind one bakes in an oven not pancakes; however, they do have thin pancakes called crepes. DES CHAUD CREPES CAFE??? On second thought, I guess we should leave the name "as is" for the sake of "art". Oh, but please DO NOT go there. I like to think of it as my own private plaza/ piazza... (See what I did there?) Copyright by Gene Myers Author of AFTER HOURS: ADVENTURES OF AN INTERNATIONAL BUSINESSMAN Web site: www.strategicpublishinggroup.com/title/AfterHours.html Coming August 23, 2010: SONGS FROM LATTYS GROVE
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