Here I address the myth of Tristan and Isolde, taking into account especially the idea that passion needs to be obstacles.In everyday life, we have common sense statements that "everything that is forbidden is more tasty" or "soft water in hard rock that sticks up both hits," which can be perfectly applied to the state of passion. In general, we see that the difficulty to win the object of desire is reinforcing to keep on putting all possible strategies in achievement. Who among us has never heard the classic story of "who I do not want me", or even been in a situation like this? It is obvious that the fact of not being loved in return makes the game more exciting love a challenge, in which the "prize" to be achieved is the affection of a person, whatever the cost may be. But why does this happen? Because of the difficulty becomes so reinforcing? I believe that the explanation for this may what many authors say it can not be the biggest obstacle that is impossible to have by our side the object of passion.Perhaps it is possible to think of difficulty as a form of personal challenge, from the moment you realize powerless against something, is characteristic of most people struggle to reverse the situation and prove themselves, often with the intention of obtaining approval social. In this sense, is very close to amorous conquest of other types of achievements (professional, financial, social, etc.), and is therefore a form of self-assertion, to achieve a certain status in the social group. An interesting case that exemplifies this type of situation is the story told in the movie "Notting Hill". In this film, the character Anna Scott, a famous actress, is attracted by the English bookstore owner William Thacker. However, misunderstandings, differences of interests and lifestyles and especially incompatibilities of social status will permeate the troubled romance. Apparently, this is precisely the apparent inability to relate to a "mere mortal" which attracts close to Anna William, despite all the difficulties he has to keep their romance away from the relentless eyes of the media. Comings and goings, which seems to attract even more the couple is precisely the difficulty we have to be together.The passion is strengthened by the obstacles, just as explained above. In the end, the characters end up together - obviously, since it is a romantic comedy - but we know that real life is not so generous. In general, what you see everyday is that often the insistence on conquering anyone has validity, given (paradoxalmente!) by the time the other decides to "give a chance" to attacks. After he sees an opportunity to really be beside the object of desire (and therefore the prize in the "Game of Love" is assured), the challenge is over - and along with it the motivation ... In thinking about this question in terms of behavior, I believe it is possible to affirm the existence of an intermittent reinforcement to the behavior of conquest.After all, just keep insisting on winning from someone when that person gives us at least a "signal" that can lead our invested somewhere (of course there are exceptions, but generally this is what happens). Finally, a caveat is needed: even if you have certain behavioral patterns with respect to passion, one must take into account that each individual is unique, and therefore will experience this feeling in its own way. The problem is when the person does not recognize the limit of its offensive and does not respect the beloved (by which person is in love) and there may be jealousy or unhealthy as it is called pathological jealousy, also known as the 'jealousy of Othello. " The behaviors of these people are basically: |
• Call several times a day and do not accept that the other did not answer (regardless of reason) • Involvement with clothes, how to dress and apply makeup (women) • Interview about the past often to catch contradictions • Follow the people • Spending hours standing at the door of the residence or work to visit the secret exits or uninformed • Check the phone calls and messages from the partner • Enquiry to friends, relatives and porters to know if the person left or received visits • Do not accept promises of love how are selfish • Walk beside the person on the street, watching where she turns her gaze • Do not allow their partners to participate in social activities where this is not about banning or threatening to breakup And in more serious cases are suicide threats, aggression and partner can come to kill the victim
Seeing little jealous behaviors as to believe that the person is possessive is the solution in most cases, in others, psychotherapy with a psychologist or psychiatrist is the path.
Related Articles -
love, loving behavior, pathological jealousy,