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Terrible twos? study indicates finding a positive parental balanceis key - China Skin Rejuvenation by icdenta icdenta





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Terrible twos? study indicates finding a positive parental balanceis key - China Skin Rejuvenation by
Article Posted: 01/23/2013
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Terrible twos? study indicates finding a positive parental balanceis key - China Skin Rejuvenation


 
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Rinaldi's study, which appears in Early Childhood Research Quarterly , looked at how parents' child-rearing styles were related to theiryoung children's behaviour. She says that although much of theresearch to date on parenting has looked only at the mother's role,the research she conducted with co-author Nina Howe of ConcordiaUniversity (Montreal) showed a correlation between the father'sparental style and the child's behaviour, either positive ornegative. Their findings suggest parental styles that are eithertoo strict or too lenient are likely to be associated with negativetypes of behaviour in children, whereas a more even-handed approachis more likely to result in positive conduct. Terrible twos -- or too-extreme parents? Participants in the study were asked to identify their parentalstyle and that of their partner, and to identify and measure theirchildren's behaviour.

The results indicated that when the motherswere more permissive in their parental style or the fathers moreauthoritarian, the toddlers tended to demonstrate negativelyfocused habits such as temper tantrums, arguing with adults or notsharing toys. On the other hand, for parents who reported that thefather displayed a firm but fair and friendly style, childrentended to display a more positive demeanour. "Being more authoritative is a positive style. You havestructure, but you also have limits for kids so they know what toexpect.

It's very clear in its communication, but at the same timehas expectations and doesn't let everything go," said Rinaldi."Toddlers are starting to test their environment. It's hardfor them to communicate exactly what they want. And so it reallytests the limits of what parents can do and their ownabilities." Shifting styles and dissimilar siblings Rinaldi says it is important to remember that parental styles arefluid, and that factors such as mood and fatigue -- on the part ofboth parent and child -- can play a role in shifting a parent'sapproach. The key, she says, lies with the parent being able todetermine boundaries and limits to put on a child, based on thechild and environment factors.

Within the family dynamic, she saysthat parents may adopt different approaches among siblings as well,especially if one child is more even-tempered than another. It'sless of the Smothers Brothers' "mom always liked youbest" situation and more like having to navigate the perilouswaters of each child's needs. "People look back on their own childhood and they say, 'Well,our parents didn't treat us the same,' but why would they treat youexactly the same? You are different human beings," saidRinaldi. "Some children require a little bit more attentionthan others. And some parents are baffled as to why one strategyworks with one and not with the others, so it is a demand on theparent to figure it out." Positive parental propositions Rinaldi says there are many ways to be an effective parent, butwhat her research underscores is that parents who share theauthoritative traits -- by providing structure in a loving, caring,very clear way to their young children -- are the ones to emulate.She says kids need structure and routines to help them, especiallyin their early years.

Toddlers enjoy knowing what to expect andwhat is expected of them, including having duties like helping toset the table or tasks such as brushing their teeth before bed.Having reasonable expectations that are age-appropriate is anotherconsideration, she says, noting that it might be unfair to expectyoung children not to be moody when they are hungry or up pasttheir bedtime. But when it comes time to be the firm, lovingparent, it comes down to saying what you mean and meaning what yousay. "Follow through consistently," she said. "But dothat in a warm and caring way, without necessarily being overlydomineering and doing it in a coercive and manipulative way,because that actually does come through.".

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