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Tip #1 Women are like electricians - crazy electricians perhaps, but still. They want to know how you are wired, and that is why they want more in an email than, "Hey babe, ur hot. What up?" All that tells them is you might be too stupid to put together coherent sentences and paragraphs. Give them enough to glean facts about you. Tip #2 If you claim you are 5'9" but actually are 5'4", when you meet a woman she will notice as she is glaring down at you. Likewise, if you describe yourself as athletic because you figure a 340-pound NFL lineman is athletic, she will not be fooled. He is a highly paid athlete; you are merely overweight. Women possess eyesight that keenly judges physical attributes like height, weight and hair color (as well as its absence). Do you really want a woman's first impression of you to be, "This dweeb is a pathetic liar?" Tell the truth on your profile. Tip #3 Choose your primary profile photo carefully, remembering the immutable truth crooned by ZZ Top: "Every woman's crazy bout a sharp dressed man." Tip #4 If every photo on your profile has you holding or consuming an adult beverage, women may consider you are a fun guy; more likely, they will think you have a drinking problem. Mix it up a little with the pics. Tip #5 Shirtless pics, taken in the bathroom, in front of the mirror, are in poor taste, lack appropriate context (like the beach or a boat), and identify you with undesirable groups (see poor white trash). Tip #6 Guys, please do not write on your profile that you love to snuggle. Seriously? Just post a profile photo with the word "WUSS" stamped across your forehead. You may as well confess romantic comedies are your favorite movies, you have the Lifetime Channel on permanent DVR, and you think "The Real Housewives of Atlanta" is the bomb. Remove the reference at once or go get a perm and eat some tofu. Tip #7 Flowers and chocolates on a first date also project you as a needy wuss desperately attempting to buy affection. On the other hand, small, funny gifts are terrific ice breakers that solicit laughter and open up flirting opportunities. For example, stickers like gold stars or smiley faces can be given to your date for any number of reasons, such as showing up on time, to rocking a pretty dress or forgiving you for forgetting your wallet - just kidding about that one (see Tip #10). Tip #8 Believe it or not, most women would not appreciate the ambiance of Hooters for a first date (or any), though you may win consolation points if you manage to keep your eyes glued on your date. But, that's not why guys go to Hooters. Skip the consolation points and take her to a place where she will feel comfortable. Tip #9 On the first few dates, avoid potentially controversial and divisive subjects, like politics and religion, and too much disclosure about sex and past relationships. As a matter of fact, wait until you've had sex. If the sex is great, those subjects won't matter as much. If the sex is awful, they won't matter at all. And if it's average, everything's on the table...unless it's been, um, cleared for something else. Tip #10 Be prepared to pay for the first date. Let's just say Masterdate is old fashioned about this. Women will appreciate the gesture. However, take the opportunity to score some points here. For instance, when the waiter asks if you are ready to order, say, "No, I haven't even told her I forgot my wallet yet" - or "We haven't figured out if she's going to pay for everything or if I'm going to have to pay the tip." If the waiter plays along, it's very funny. If the waiter doesn't get it, then it's hilarious. These aren't really our most important dating tips ever. We just wanted to introduce the site with a little humor. However, we also hope you can read between the lines and discover the tips that will make internet dating more fulfilling for you. Because when it comes to dating, every guy can use a little advice
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