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While I'm not ancient, my wedding was quite some time ago. Fifteen years to be exact. Now in the scheme of the universe, fifteen years isn't that long. But when you talk about weddings, it's a lifetime. I'm not talking about my marriage - thankfully it's a pretty good one. I'm talking in terms of style. More specifically, I'm talking about the pressure to "put on" the perfect wedding. Yes, I come from the days of big bows on the butt of the wedding dress and puffy sleeves big enough to hide the flower girl in. Yes, I look back and say, "What was I thinking?" But then I look at the dresses today - very sleek and lovely. They make the models look simply stunning. They would make me look like a linebacker! My broad shoulders and slightly puffy arms were well hidden under those puffy sleeves. Then there are the wedding favors. At my wedding, we did have little packets of Jordon almonds tied up in netting at the table for the guests. Some couples gave guests little bottles of bubbles to blow at the couple instead of throwing rice. Today brides and grooms are expected to give each guest quite elaborate favors to remember the special event. These range from place card holders to vases to candles. I have to admit that these favors give the tables at the wedding reception a special touch and make the guests feel extra-special. But does the bride really need to have one more thing on her to-do list? Then there is the biggest stressor of all - the couple's first dance. At my wedding, this was the least stressful part of the entire day, which made it one of the best parts of the day. We had made it through the ceremony, all the guests were fed and the reception was off to a good start. My husband and I got to dance quietly to one of our favorite songs and give a little sigh of relief. But today, there is pressure to put on another show - a really unique and surprising dance. There's even a TV show dedicated to helping couples create and learn a memorable first dance! Now, my husband and I are not completely rhythmically challenged. We can polka along with the rest of his Polish family. We enjoy dancing. But I can tell you that feeling as if we had to put on another show for the guests would have probably put us over the edge. This wonderful marriage might never have been. How sad! So if you are planning your own wedding, feel free to follow my sage (OK, old-fashioned) advice. Do what makes you and your fiancé happy. Wear what makes you comfortable, give what you can afford, and dance for the joy of dancing. And if you are planning a wedding, do have fun planning for presents! Those you invite will desire to bring gifts to celebrate your wedding. Most couples give their wedding guests a bit of a hint by registering at several stores so their guests can find exactly what they want.
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