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By: Rosemary Jasmine Rivera You ever wonder what it's like to really want a bannana, or even worse a jalapeno pepper? Well rest assure I've been eyeing the jalapenos peppers used in my family's meal so much that I would literally drink the gnarly liquid inside. I'm friggin hungry! I wish I could eat some food. Yeah that's me in a nutshell right now. This is my first day where I'm doing my 5 day water fast and I'm feeling it. In the morning I went to my friend's house to give her, her gift for Christmas and low behold I ended up getting my time of the month and a “detox” headache. What are the odds? I say detox headache because after two days of not eating sugar and processed foods, my body is aching. It's like drug withdrawal. I know it'll go away in t he next few weeks, but oh my golly do I feel it. I gave up and took a pain reliever. It helped, but I'm scared. I'm scared of all the things that might happen in the next five days, heck 3 months, that might tempt me from getting off of my diet, and worse yet, giving up. I've done it, you've done it, we've all been there. We did things or got influenced by people in your social circles to do something that's not healthy. We just have to find the will to stick to the goal. It was hard, because right as I started my fast my aunt brought us guava filled pastries. I love guava and bananas and pineapples. I even lose apples and prunes. Now when it's put into pastry form with warm cream splashed on top, it's like I've been mindtrapped. If I make a move, I'll just run over to the food and shove it in my mouth. Luck would have it, I fought the urge and drank some tea, no sugar or lemon please. The tea helps especially in the winter when it's cold because it keeps my belly warm and I stay hydrated. I hate drinking water and tea helps me gulp down the 8 cups I need for this fast. I got some organic tea and regular tea so it definitely worked and with 4 cups down I was able to stave off my hunger. What about tomorrow? I think that's the hardest part of lifestyle changes. You always question what will happen tomorrow., at least I do. I worry if I'm just not strong enough to, even after the fat loss, cope with the enormous changes my life will undertake. My skin might get saggy, I might need to build more muscle, it might feel impossible to get those last 10 lbs off. I may need cosmetic surgery. How will I date, go out with friends, and interact with family after my transformation? It's a lot to take in. I think that's why I never truly managed to stay at a decent weight when I was younger and would yo yo. It's because I never knew how to handle life thin. I always handled it fat, alone, and miserable. So from now on I just have to do it, no matter what, and keep going. This is a true test of heart and I have one of the strongest hearts out there. Make sure to tell yourself that when you start your journey, whatever it may be. At theend of the day, doing the things that make us happyis harder than doing the things that make us complacent. I'm tired of being complacent and numbing myself from the world. I want to live and make connections and explore. I want to build a foundation of peace, health, and prosperity, and I especially want to help people out there who are going through the same thing. It's embarrassing to tell you what I'm going through each day, but hey, it might help you go through it too. Check out my blog for more entries! I Want to Lose 80 lbs in 90 Days.
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