Amazines Free Article Archive
www.amazines.com - Thursday, October 17, 2019
Read about the most recent changes and happenings at Amazines.com
Log into your account or register as a new author. Start submitting your articles right now!
Search our database for articles.
Subscribe to receive articles emailed straight to your email account. You may choose multiple categories.
View our newest articles submitted by our authors.
View our most top rated articles rated by our visitors.
* Please note that this is NOT the ARTICLE manager
Add a new EZINE, or manage your EZINE submission.
Add fresh, free web content to your site such as newest articles, web tools, and quotes with a single piece of code!
Home What's New? Submit/Manage Articles Latest Posts Top Rated Article Search
Google
Subscriptions Manage Ezines
CATEGORIES
 Article Archive
 Advertising (133313)
 Advice (160846)
 Affiliate Programs (34734)
 Art and Culture (73685)
 Automotive (145676)
 Blogs (75042)
 Boating (9840)
 Books (17122)
 Buddhism (4124)
 Business (1328457)
 Business News (426309)
 Business Opportunities (366261)
 Camping (10960)
 Career (72723)
 Christianity (15840)
 Collecting (11637)
 Communication (115054)
 Computers (241950)
 Construction (38995)
 Consumer (49679)
 Cooking (17061)
 Copywriting (6567)
 Crafts (18204)
 Cuisine (7538)
 Current Affairs (20384)
 Dating (45774)
 EBooks (19685)
 E-Commerce (48200)
 Education (185227)
 Electronics (83492)
 Email (6392)
 Entertainment (159829)
 Environment (28935)
 Ezine (3039)
 Ezine Publishing (5446)
 Ezine Sites (1550)
 Family & Parenting (110900)
 Fashion & Cosmetics (196387)
 Female Entrepreneurs (11842)
 Feng Shui (130)
 Finance & Investment (310266)
 Fitness (106051)
 Food & Beverages (62863)
 Free Web Resources (7938)
 Gambling (30224)
 Gardening (25103)
 Government (10512)
 Health (629455)
 Hinduism (2205)
 Hobbies (44033)
 Home Business (91553)
 Home Improvement (251337)
 Home Repair (46124)
 Humor (4819)
 Import - Export (5453)
 Insurance (45130)
 Interior Design (29545)
 International Property (3484)
 Internet (190981)
 Internet Marketing (146327)
 Investment (22824)
 Islam (1167)
 Judaism (1356)
 Law (80476)
 Link Popularity (4591)
 Manufacturing (20842)
 Marketing (98766)
 MLM (14136)
 Motivation (18213)
 Music (27001)
 New to the Internet (9479)
 Non-Profit Organizations (4048)
 Online Shopping (129614)
 Organizing (7803)
 Party Ideas (11855)
 Pets (38081)
 Poetry (2234)
 Press Release (12672)
 Public Speaking (5618)
 Publishing (7523)
 Quotes (2407)
 Real Estate (126613)
 Recreation & Leisure (95264)
 Relationships (87454)
 Research (16158)
 Sales (80317)
 Science & Technology (110203)
 Search Engines (23451)
 Self Improvement (153096)
 Seniors (6231)
 Sexuality (35942)
 Small Business (49283)
 Software (82994)
 Spiritual (23464)
 Sports (116077)
 Tax (7658)
 Telecommuting (34066)
 Travel & Tourism (307309)
 UK Property Investment (3118)
 Video Games (13427)
 Web Traffic (11726)
 Website Design (56813)
 Website Promotion (36564)
 World News (1000+)
 Writing (35764)
Author Spotlight
ANISH SAH

My Name is Anish Sah, I am an Internet Marketing and SEO Expert, Social Media Guru and young Entrepr...more
SHWETA SINGH

This article has been written by a verified author, Shweta Singh. She has been in the business of wr...more
WILLIAM ELSENRATH

I'm retired and help my wife with her home business. I do the work behind the scenes by writing arti...more
CACEY TAYLOR

Im just a man who likes to be happy and see others happy. Im into home business, sports, family, and...more
RAJESH THAPALIYA

I am in Nepalest tourism industery working since 2000 as a trekking porter to the senior tour leader...more


LIGHT ANOTHER CANDLE by Gene Myers





LIGHT ANOTHER CANDLE by
Article Posted: 07/08/2019
Article Views: 1012
Articles Written: 191
Word Count: 1086
Article Votes: 4
AddThis Social Bookmark Button

LIGHT ANOTHER CANDLE


 
Current Affairs,Humor,Recreation & Leisure
Happy Birthday to me! (Well, that was almost a month ago, and I’ve been procrastinating about writing this essay ever since.)

That’s right, June 12 was the big day, and I ponder the miracle. Not the marvel that I’m still alive. I chalk that up to good genes, and a healthy and active lifestyle. I seem to be a pretty robust dude—so far anyway. No, I’m thinking of the miracle that I was even born—had a birthday. Think of it. Parents had to feel amorous at just the right time, and one of 100,000 to 400,000 eggs that contained future me had to be selected. Nine months later I saw a white light, someone smacked me on the fanny, and voila—life.

I also think of others who shared my birthday; those who have departed beyond the veil of mortal existence: Anna Ruth (Keck) Myers--grandmother, Dorothy Ellen (Miller) Myers--aunt, William Salesky—work associate, George H. W. Bush—number 41, and Anne Frank—Holocaust victim. I am not eager to join them, but (try as I might) cannot avoid the upcoming biological event that awaits me. See, when I think about it, it’s that final darkness (Sleep’s big brother) that I fear. Sleep isn’t darkness or totally black. One’s brain is active with things like dreams, and if demons come to call, your brain alerts you to fight and/or wake up. Even then the struggle becomes daunting if one is in a state a sleep paralysis. I know what the darkness is like from the times I was put under during surgery. You’re put out and wake up with no brain activity you can recall during the dark hours. What if the demons come then?

With that in mind, I celebrate each new awakening. I love mornings—can’t wait to get up. It’s hard to imagine that someday there will be a day that starts off without me especially the ones that are fresh and sunny with sounds of songbirds. Those I’ll miss most of all. I will not miss dry, insipid meatloaf, tuna casseroles, garbage odors, pessimists, television commercials, whiny, sore-loser politicians and their braindead sycophants, smarmy ESPN commentators, gum popping, going to an airport, terrible pop music, someone else’s farts, and projectile halitosis.

I began that temperate, sunny, June day with a look into the bathroom mirror to see if the “imposter” showed up. Yep, he was there. Teeth are still white, and hair is still dark, although it is definitely thinner. He also has the beginning of a turkey neck, and crepe-paper skin. He’s showing wear-and-tear for sure. My hearing is okay, but the problem is that it comes through his ears. I admit the imposter—lately I’ve been thinking of him as the enemy—resembles me, but I know he is not the young guy on the other side. Maybe I need to get a new mirror. I put on shorts, a tee, and shoes for my morning run, but before I went out the door, I snuck one last peak to see if the imposter was still there. DAMN!

“Go haunt somebody else!” I yelled. He winked back, and flipped me off. He is both annoying and implacable. He also has something I do not have; namely, all the time in the world.

Beautiful morning. Run felt good although I had to endure certain neighbors jeering at me to pick up the pace. I almost cringe at having to suffer their corny remarks. On the other hand, if they didn’t care about me, I’d be ignored, right? At least, as trite as they are, their (printable) comments are not as bad as those PGA golf galleries. There, as soon as one of the pros swings a club or putts, some inane duffass yells, “Get in the hole!” The first guy (from decades ago) I give a pass. The rest of you: Just shut up. You sound idiotic. It gives a country club and PGA tournaments that shabby, going nowhere ambiance like a crushed paper cup on a stained sidewalk outside a 7-eleven.

On the turn toward home, I got the sudden urge to relieve myself—another attribute the imposter has foisted upon me. Fortunately, the clubhouse for our community is on-the-way. I need to explain that (for me) it seems the Ladies and the Gents are located 180-degrees out-of-phase. So, being of single-minded purpose, I accidently barged into the wrong room not giving a thought to the absence of urinals, and rushed toward a commode, urgently preparing for the process as I moved. I thought of a line from “Blazing Saddles”: S’cuse me while I whip dis out.

Before I could begin the transaction, a lady walked through the door—she, one of those humorless old biddies with a condescending countenance who looks like she’s always smelling bad cheese. I guess she was dressed in resort chic, but to me it looked like a Versace knock-off for Walmart. She exclaimed, “Excuse me! This is for ladies!”

Naturally, I was embarrassed, but not being one of those who refrains from swinging at a lobbed pitch that had homerun written all over it, said: “So is this, but I have to run water through it every two hours.”

Then with as much dignity as I could muster, walked out the door giving a thumbs-up to her open-mouthed gape. Oh, and I made it to the Gents in the nick of time. The hydraulic pressure was so strong that I may have blasted some porcelain off from that sturdy, upright bathroom fixture.

The rest of the run was much more comfortable, and I fell under a hypnotic trance from the sound of my footfalls, and began singing to the beat. The song was “Twisted”.

“My analyst told me I was on out of my head My analyst told me I’d be better off dead (than live) I didn’t listen to his jive I knew all along that he was all wrong I knew that he thought I was crazy, but I’m not.” (Oh, no)

Well, maybe not the best choice, but it fit the rhythm of shoes on asphalt.

When I arrived home, I cooled off on the back patio drinking water and tackling a Sudoku word puzzle. Mainly, I awaited the arrival of daughter, son, and a chocolate lab from Southern California. They were coming to “surprise” me. Best gift of all.

Copyright by Gene Myers who henceforth pledges to be freeway close and habla espanol.

Related Articles - Birthday, those departed, celebrate, imposter, morning run, ,

Email this Article to a Friend!

Receive Articles like this one direct to your email box!
Subscribe for free today!

 Rate This Article  
Completely useless, should be removed from directory.
Minimal useful information.
Decent and informative.
Great article, very informative and helpful.
A 'Must Read'.

 

Do you Agree or Disagree? Have a Comment? POST IT!

 Reader Opinions 
Submit your comments and they will be posted here.
Make this comment or to the Author only:
Name:
Email:
*Your email will NOT be posted. This is for administrative purposes only.
Comments: *Your Comments WILL be posted to the AUTHOR ONLY if you select PRIVATE and to this PUBLIC PAGE if you select PUBLIC, so write accordingly.
 
Please enter the code in the image:



 Author Login 
LOGIN
Register for Author Account

 

Advertiser Login

 

ADVERTISE HERE NOW!
   Limited Time $60 Offer!
   90  Days-1.5 Million Views  

 

Great Paranormal Romance


SUSAN FRIESEN

Susan Friesen, founder of the award-winning web development and digital marketing firm eVision Media...more
STEVERT MCKENZIE

Stevert Mckenzie, Travel Enthusiast. ...more
STEPHEN BYE

Steve Bye is currently a fiction writer, who published his first novel, ‘Looking Forward Through The...more
GENE MYERS

Author of four books and two screenplays; frequent magazine contributor. I have four other books "in...more
LAURA JEEVES

At LeadGenerators, we specialise in content-led Online Marketing Strategies for our clients in the t...more
TIM FAY

I am not a writer nor am I trying to become a writer. I am an average person with average intelligen...more
JOANNA MORGAN

Joanna Morgan has a huge passion for making money online from home and enjoys traveling around the w...more
JAMES OLEANDER

James Oleander is a professional writer on business and financial topics. He has published many arti...more
JASON NG

Jason Ng has a huge passion for the health and fitness industry as he strongly believes that having ...more
LANCE CHAPMAN

An experienced, resourceful and highly motivated IT professional, with a proven record of success in...more

HomeLinksAbout UsContact UsTerms of UsePrivacy PolicyFAQResources
Copyright © 2019, All rights reserved.
Some pages may contain portions of text relating to certain topics obtained from wikipedia.org under the GNU FDL license