The Mirror Rearview: Special Report # 21 (May 18, 2022) |
An on-going series from Stephen P. Bye, an independent journalist for the Mirror Rearview, a fictional newspaper in Utopia County, formerly Laicos County, an imaginary USA municipality.
Alice N. Wonderland, Laicos County Executive, has officially been renamed Utopia County and the county seat has been changed from Laicos City to Nirvana. The county and city councils unanimously voted for the name changes.
Stemming from the invasion of Ukraine, Ms. Wonderland has imposed punitive actions against anyone in Utopia County who has ties to Russia. District Attorney, D. A. Law, has announced that anyone with Russian heritage will be arrested and transported to the barracks at Menticide Village in Distopia, where the COVID vaccine resisters are being held. In addition, Law proclaimed that all assets of the Russians will be confiscated by Nirvana County. Wonderland and Law have demanded that every Nirvana County resident report for a saliva test, which will be sent to an ancestry data company for verification of Russian ancestry. Priority tests have been ordered for last names starting with Russ, such as Russell and Russo.
Without proof of heritage, several notable arrests have already been made: Rubal Ruble, proprietor of Ruble’s Jewelry Store in Nirvana. Polina Petrov, owner of several gas stations, operating as PP Petroleum. Bubley Molotov, owner of Molotov’s Cocktail Lounge. Igor “Kookie” Kalashnik, proprietor of Kookie’s Bakery. Rasputin “Yappy” Balakin, the popular radio talk show host on KRAP (103.9). Viktor “Seymore” Ryboakov, owner of Seymore’s Seafood. Ivan “Stich” Portnov, proprietor of Tailor’s Clothiers.
Alice N. Wonderland also announced the establishment of the Factual Information Bureau, also known as FIB and appointed local oracle, Clare Voyant, to head the group. FIB has been mandated to seek the truth for all stories contained in Nirvana County newspapers, radio, and television stations. Voyant was given the power to invoke punishment for airing irresponsible news reporting. As my readers may recall, several months ago during the height of the COVID outbreak, Alice N. Wonderland signed a law empowering the County to shut down those stations for up to one month for violations. Clare Voyant has already revoked KRAP’s broadcasting license for 30 days because of “Yappy” Balakin’s stories on the Russian citizen’s incarcerations.
In her first press conference, Voyant denied the existence of Menticide Village in Distopia and stated that no Russian residents have been arrested. When questioned about the shortage of baby formula in Nirvana, she responded, “there’s no supply shortage, there are simply too many babies.” The next question addressed the high rate of inflation in Utopia County, which Voyant quickly replied, “prices for goods have remained the same, the packages and cans are just smaller.” I was able to pose a question about the cost of a gasoline, currently averaging $5.50 per gallon on Nirvana. Voyant promptly denied the price figure, stating it was now averaging $1.45. I have now discovered fuel at all gas stations are priced in liters.
Alice N. Wonderland also announced that COVID restrictions will remain in place through the end of the year. based upon the recommendations of Dr. I. M. Gloomy and Dr. Max Panik, head of the County Department of Health.
The Developer and The Developer Phase II
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Ukraine;, Russian, citizens;, Disinformation;, COVID,