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Humor Articles and Ezines

Humor

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1. SLIPPING AWAY
September 13, 2019


It had been one of those bad days; a day so bad you might not brush your teeth just to project halitosis on those around you. You know the kind I’m talking about; one of those out-of-kilter days when everything rubs you wrong; the kind of day that puts you into a greasy, black funk, and momentarily you don’t care whether or not you exist. Yeah, it was like that. For me that experience is extremely rare, yet there it was; the kind of day that double crosses in style, and forces you into a smile so it can kick you in the teeth. I was one step away from punting puppies, going around stepping on a... (read more)

Author: Gene Myers

2. Airplane Toilet Challenges (Part III)
September 08, 2019


Airplane Toilet Challenges (Part III) After a long delay due to turbulence, a trip to the toilet in the rear of the plane can also be an adventure. After the seatbelt sign goes off, here’s what to do: 1) Act cool and roll your eyes when twenty people immediately rise and jostle for position in the toilet queue line. 2) Nonchalantly make your way back to the toilet twenty minutes later when the line subsides. 3) Curse at the clueless passengers who attempt to return to their seat and block your way to the toilet when they could simply duck into a vacant aisle seat. 4) Avoid touchin... (read more)

Author: Stephen Bye

3. Where Have the 58ers Gone?
August 06, 2019


I met Susan Joan Black Bacon in the sixth grade when she was just plain ol’ Susie Black. She was uncommonly tall with short black hair, and like many adolescents (myself included), a bit gawky. At that period in time, parents in my hometown got bamboozled into entering kids my age, and a year or two on the other side, into a weekly ballroom dance class called Cotillion. Boys had to wear coats and ties, and girls, nice dresses. Parents also suggested we pop Clorets in our pie holes (radio jingle: Chew Clorets, the gum delicious. It makes your breath kissing sweet) to avoid offending our partner... (read more)

Author: Gene Myers

4. Airline Toilet Challenges (Part II)
August 02, 2019


Airplane Toilet Challenges (Part II) How often have you had the urge to pee on an airplane when the attendants block the aisles behind your row with service carts? Obviously, the only option is to use the first-class toilet. However, one problem…the purser has drawn the curtain that separates the cabins. Here are the recommended steps: 1) Tug the curtain aside, acting confident like you’re a first-class passenger. 2) When the purser becomes confrontational, point at the service carts blocking your path to the rear restrooms. 3) Patiently listen to the purser’s lecture about the pri... (read more)

Author: Stephen Bye

5. LIGHT ANOTHER CANDLE
July 08, 2019


Happy Birthday to me! (Well, that was almost a month ago, and I’ve been procrastinating about writing this essay ever since.) That’s right, June 12 was the big day, and I ponder the miracle. Not the marvel that I’m still alive. I chalk that up to good genes, and a healthy and active lifestyle. I seem to be a pretty robust dude—so far anyway. No, I’m thinking of the miracle that I was even born—had a birthday. Think of it. Parents had to feel amorous at just the right time, and one of 100,000 to 400,000 eggs that contained future me had to be selected. Nine months later I saw a white light... (read more)

Author: Gene Myers

6. Airplane Toilet Challenges (Part I)
May 30, 2019


Airplane Toilet Challenges (Part I) Most of you have flown on an airplane at some point in your life and probably had to use the toilet facilities on a flight. Most of the older planes were better designed for travelers, however, as time has passed, the airlines have added more rows, shrunk the seat widths, eliminated a potty or two, and shrunk the size of the restroom. They might as well post a sign outside the toilet door… “skinny folks only”. Have you ever rushed to the gate to board a plane and didn’t have time for a last restroom stop? And then, how often is your plane held in t... (read more)

Author: Stephen Bye

7. Baseball...America's Favorite Nap-time
March 31, 2019


Baseball…America’s Favorite Nap-time The long, boring Major League baseball season has started and once again, the old fogies who control the rules rejected ideas about speeding up the sport…so baseball still barely edges out watching paint dry or grass grow in a list of most exciting events. The committee has some new concepts, but use Spring Training games or the minor leagues to test the ideas. I predict that one minor change will be adopted over the next twenty years. Team owners, however, are very content to maintain outdated rules to ensure that games continue at an excruciatingly s... (read more)

Author: Stephen Bye

8. The Mirror Rearview; Report # 14
March 17, 2019


Report # 14: An on-going series from Stephen P. Bye, a former Correspondent for the Mirror Rearview, a fictional newspaper in Laicos County, an imaginary USA municipality. Please refer to the previous thirteen reports on the seven-month history of the transformation that has occurred in Laicos County. March 17, 2019: I now write as an independent blogger, as I was terminated last week as a correspondent for the Mirror Rearview by their backward-looking ownership group. The Mirror Rearview readers supposedly indicated that my reflective columns violated the paper’s motto, “The Mirror neve... (read more)

Author: Stephen Bye

9. The Mirror Rearview; Report # 13
February 14, 2019


Report # 13; An on-going series from Stephen P. Bye; Correspondent for the Mirror Rearview, a fictional newspaper in Laicos County, an imaginary USA municipality. Please refer to the previous twelve reports on the six-month history of the transformation that has occurred at the three Laicos County public golf courses. (February 14) After several days roaming the streets of Laicos County I gathered candid comments about the recent decisions by the Laicos County Commissioners on the golf course operations and the new adopted tax measures. The following are direct quotes from answers to a fe... (read more)

Author: Stephen Bye

10. SOCIALIST PARADISE?
February 09, 2019


Bernie Sanders, Elizabeth Warren, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, and others have stepped up as crusaders in advocating that our constitutional republic (No, it’s not a democracy!) become a socialist economy. They spin it as “Democratic Socialism”. Now there’s a combination of two bad ideas. Like that’s really worked well over the centuries (snicker). I doubt that there’s a more shining example of governmental failure than socialism and its big brother, communism. However, in light of the so-called progressive (actually regressive) elitists and their fawning cadre, recall Nikita Khrushchev said in 1... (read more)

Author: Gene Myers

11. The Mirror Rearview; Report # 12
January 31, 2019


Special Report # 12; An on-going series from Stephen P. Bye; Correspondent for the Mirror Rearview, a fictional newspaper in Laicos County, an imaginary USA municipality. Please refer to the previous eleven reports on the six-month history of the transformation that has occurred at the three Laicos County public golf courses. (January 31, 2019) Yesterday afternoon, Alice N. Wonderland held a press conference to announce the steps the Laicos County Commissioners approved for dealing with the on-going losses at the three County golf operations, as well as recapturing the twenty million doll... (read more)

Author: Stephen Bye

12. The Mirror Rearview; Report # 11
January 12, 2019


Special Report # 11; An on-going series from Stephen P. Bye; Correspondent for the Mirror Rearview, a fictional newspaper in Laicos County, an imaginary USA municipality. Please refer to the previous ten reports on the five-month history of the transformation that has occurred at the three Laicos County public golf courses. (January 12, 2019) The Laicos County Commissioners held a public hearing earlier this week at the Laicos County Auditorium after an audit revealed that over twenty million dollars have been spent by the County on improvements made at the three public golf courses. It w... (read more)

Author: Stephen Bye

13. The Mirror Rearview; Report # 10
December 23, 2018


Special Report # 10; An on-going series from Stephen P. Bye; Correspondent for the Mirror Rearview, a fictional newspaper in Laicos County, an imaginary USA municipality. Please refer to the previous nine reports on the five-month history of the transformation that has occurred at the Laicos County public golf courses. (December 23, 2018): The Laicos County Commissioners held an emergency meeting last night to discuss several measures to stem the rapidly declining revenues at the three County golf courses. Operating losses have also mounted recently, especially since the implementation of... (read more)

Author: Stephen Bye

14. A New Lease On Life: Five Flops That Became Cult Films
December 15, 2018


There are hundreds of movies made every year, and while each one feels it has a fighting chance to be one of the best, a select few fall flat on their face & become cult films. At one time, having the cult film moniker attached a film meant that is was just a bogus movie being hyped up in arthouse theaters. Now, it’s not such a bad thing as some of the most popular movies of all-time are technically box office flops that have developed cult-like followings. Here are five movies that were once failures in theaters, but over time, they’ve become beloved by audiences around the world: T... (read more)

Author: Alfred Mears

15. The Mirror Rearview; Report # 9
December 09, 2018


Special Report # 9; An on-going series from Stephen P. Bye; Correspondent for the Mirror Rearview, a fictional newspaper in Laicos County, an imaginary USA municipality. Please refer to the previous 8 reports. (December 10, 2018) The Laicos County Golf Course Executive, ‘Duff’ Hacker, held a press conference today announcing new rules to be implemented for the three County golf courses, effective immediately. Hacker confirmed that at least twenty golfers have been hit in the head by golf balls over the past two months and three lawsuits have been filed by the players against the County. A... (read more)

Author: Stephen Bye

16. HOLIDAZE - 2018 Style
November 30, 2018


Deck the halls, breakout the egg nog, and hang up the stockings! Christmas Season is upon us again. Oh, and Happy Holidays to those of a politically correct persuasion. BTW, whatever happened to Season’s Greetings? Hey, do you suppose we could get a nativity scene by you folks if we called it a three-sided homeless shelter? Get back to me on that, will you? Like most, I’m normally filled with joy and goodwill this time of year. Love the music. Love the decorations. Truth to tell, I’m not much of a shopper, and I don’t care a fig about receiving gifts. It’s the overall atmosphere—the Holid... (read more)

Author: Gene Myers

17. The Mirror Rearview; Report # 8
November 25, 2018


Report # 8; An on-going series from Stephen P. Bye; Correspondent for the Mirror Rearview, a fictional newspaper in Laicos County, an imaginary USA municipality. (November 25, 2018) After my brief discussion with Jim Nasticks two weeks at the ribbon-cutting ceremony at Sausage Creek Links, I wanted to obtain a much greater perspective on his opinions about the revolutionary changes at the three Laicos County golf courses implemented by “Duff’ Hacker, the County Golf Executive. The following is my entire interview with Mr. Nasticks. Reporter: “I gather from you comments to me two week... (read more)

Author: Stephen Bye

18. MIDTERM Election Fallout
November 14, 2018


Well, thank goodness the 2018 midterm elections are over. The greatest benefit to me? No more gag-inducing television advertisements for candidates and propositions. (Whew!) Fortunately, I voted early, and was out of the country for the last two weeks of mud—feces?—slinging. Over the last 20 years, political candidates and their so-called appeals to the electorate have gotten progressively worse. Here are examples of what spews forth: 1. What I have done in the past to deserve your vote. This component is, in the main, equal parts hyperbole and fiction, and represents a relatively small ... (read more)

Author: Gene Myers

19. The Mirror Rearview; Report # 7
November 11, 2018


Special Report # 7: A series from Stephen P. Bye; Correspondent for the Mirror Rearview, a fictional newspaper in Laicos County, an imaginary USA municipality. (November 11, 2018) Yesterday, the County Executives had a ribbon-cutting ceremony at Sausage Creek Links to celebrate the grand opening of the renovated clubhouse. Alice N. Wonderland was given the honor of cutting the large blue ribbon at the front entrance of the building, as most of the Laicos County Executives linked their arms in solidarity. Lester “Duff” Hacker, the Golf Commissioner who orchestrated the transformation of th... (read more)

Author: Stephen Bye

20. The Mirror Rearview; Report # 6
October 25, 2018


Report # 6: Stephen P. Bye; Correspondent for the Mirror Rearview, a fictional newspaper in Laicos County, an imaginary USA municipality. (October 25, 2018); Last week, I met with Lester “Duff” Hacker, the Golf Director for the Laicos County Golf courses. The following is the full content of my interview with him. Reporter: “After three months in the position as Director of Golf operations, how would you summarize your accomplishments so far?” Hacker: “Terrific…I give myself a ten rating…naturally, on a scale of ten.” Reporter: “Have you decided to start playing golf to eva... (read more)

Author: Stephen Bye

21. Current Movies Not To Miss If You Love To Laugh
October 18, 2018


It’s no secret that the current movies you see being shown at your local movie theater are pretty deep, carefully crafted, and inspiring works of visual art that are certain to get buzz come awards season. While there’s nothing wrong with these movies, sometimes you just want to go watch a movie and laugh your backside off. It’s not that you don’t appreciate stellar acting performances, dramatic scripts, or flawless execution by a director. But when it comes right down to it, nothing pleases the soul more than just being able to let out a big laugh. The issue that comedies often run into ... (read more)

Author: Alfred Mears

22. Cult Films: The Good, The Bad And The Not-So-Ugly
October 18, 2018


When you sit back and judge any one of a number of cult films, you’re doing so with a certain amount of preconceived notions. For many of these films, they’ve gone through decades of ridicule and scrutiny, with most opinions falling in two camps — genius & ahead of its time or pure garbage. With that kind of baggage, it’s a little tough to be able to make your own opinion when you finally take the plunge & watch. Here are a select cult films that have actually moved in and out of favor among their cult following over the years. Nonetheless, each certainly has its place: The Good: Cle... (read more)

Author: Alfred Mears

23. The Mirror Rearview; Report # 5
October 11, 2018


Special Report # 5: Stephen P. Bye; Correspondent for the Mirror Rearview, a fictional newspaper in Laicos County, an imaginary USA municipality. (October 11, 2018) This reporter investigated Round Trip Fields, the third Laicos County golf course that I’ve played since the implementation of the new golf policies by Lester “Duff” Hacker, the recently appointed Laicos County Golf Manager. For many years, Round Trip Fields has been rated in the toughest 100 courses in the U.S. by at least three golf magazines, so I was keenly interested in how Hacker had transitioned the course to entice new... (read more)

Author: Stephen Bye

24. The Mirror Rearview; Report # 4
October 01, 2018


Special Report # 4: Stephen P. Bye; Correspondent for the Mirror Rearview, a fictional newspaper in Laicos County, USA. (September 28, 2018) This reporter played Sausage Creek Links yesterday. I wanted to compare it with Hammer Valley Club that I tried to play two weeks ago when I gave up after one hole. To avoid being matched with beginners again, I scanned the online tee sheet, and observed open tee times on the back nine holes before nine o’clock, so I elected to just show up at seven-thirty. I remitted the ten-dollar green fee to the new golf professional; whose was appropriately... (read more)

Author: Stephen Bye

25. AN INCONGRUOUS JUXTAPOSITION OF INCOMPATIBILITIES
September 22, 2018


The title of this essay is a verbal description of the two theater masks: Comedy and Tragedy. The masks and title verbiage validate that conflict is required to satisfy both; that is, the formula for writing comedy and tragedy is the same. Check out your next Hallmark Channel romantic comedy, and observe the formula in action, as follows: boy-meets-girl; conflict; conflict resolved; boy-gets-girl; new conflict; boy-loses-girl; conflict resolved with reconciliation; boy-gets-girl. For tragedy, there would be resolution, but no reconciliation (often through ironic misunderstanding), and bo... (read more)

Author: Gene Myers



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GENE MYERS

Author of four books and two screenplays; frequent magazine contributor. I have four other books "in...more
STEPHEN BYE

Steve Bye is currently a fiction writer, who published his first novel, ‘Looking Forward Through The...more
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TIM FAY

I am not a writer nor am I trying to become a writer. I am an average person with average intelligen...more
JOANNA MORGAN

Joanna Morgan has a huge passion for making money online from home and enjoys traveling around the w...more
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Jason Ng has a huge passion for the health and fitness industry as he strongly believes that having ...more
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