When you mention high self-esteem many of us think of some “over-confident”, egoistic person who has lost the sense of reality and trying to appear more than who he really is. In my opinion there is no such a thing that being too confident, having too high “amount” of self-esteem. But pretending to be self confident and showing the signs of it on the surface and living with somebody else inside that do exist.
The outside recognition could make you believe in something what you are actually not. Great examples are gang members, belonging to a certain group just because my friends go there, church, party goers etc. You can have positive feedback from them, you can pretend to feel happy among them, but if those feelings and experiences do not match with your beliefs you would not have healthy high self-esteem.
Having healthy high self-esteem is a learned process. Everybody, I mean everybody can build it. You just have to decide to do that.
Here are some tips to help you out:
1. FOCUS: Every single cell of your body and your mental capacity has to concentrate on 1 single thing whatever you do.
Focus itself can create success. Concentration is an indispensable part of high self-esteem. It will teach you how to ignore obstructions and guide your thoughts toward the chosen subject.
2. PERSISTENCE: This is the key to live a happy life. Many people can start something, but really few would finish it. You can find those who complete the job among the most successful and/or the wealthiest people in the world. The reason I use and/or, because to be successful you do not necessarily have to be rich in financial terms.
Mahatma Gandhi - the Great Soul of India - started fasting and the British Empire left India. He had probably no high value assets or bank accounts. He had an enormous mental and spiritual power to show people around the world, that you can achieve what you want without aggression if you are determined enough. His persistence was peaceful and “soft”. That is how he became a legend.
3. TRIAL & ERROR: We all try and make mistakes. This is inevitable for our personal growth. The more you fail the more you learn.
Think of Thomas Edison who was asked after trying to create a light bulb 10000 times unsuccessfully:
“- Mr. Edison, how did it feel to fail 10000 times?”
“- I did not fail. I found 10000 ways that won’t work. - he replied.”
That’s the spirit. You do not fail, you just learn how not to do it.
You have to start the healing process for developing high self-esteem as soon as possible. Educate yourself, read, listen and talk to people, but please remember that at the final moment you have to make the decision. You are your own “healer”. You are the one who will choose pleasure instead of pain. Self-discovery, self-creation is a wonderful journey so ENJOY THE JOURNEY MY FRIEND
Zoltan Roth is a native Hungarian teacher who resides in the United States. His passion is to help people around the globe to discover their enormous mental potential to create a happy, peaceful life we all deserve. For more information please visit his website This is your self-esteem, self confidence building website.
Related Articles -
high self esteem, building high self esteem, developing high self esteem,