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Love Magic: How to Attract Your Perfect Partner for Passion, Profession or Play by Keith Varnum
Internet
The Myths that Keep Us from Love
Are society’s relationship myths causing you to give up on love or settle for less than what you want?
Most of the people who taught us about love are people who don’t let themselves be loved. Hello? What’s wrong with this picture? A little wacky, yes? Yes!
In truth, is there any good reason to withhold love from yourself? The accurate answer is “No!” Let’s do a Reality Check on love.
Myth No.1 - You have to work at having a good relationship.
Reality: A relationship that is good for you does not take work. If you have so many problems and disharmonies in a partnership that it feels like work to stay involved, then the person is not right for you. Differences of opinion, style and preference should be a source of intrigue and attraction, not a quagmire of argument and conflict.
Myth No.2 - Negotiation, compromise and sacrifice are necessary for two people to have a successful partnership.
Reality: Not every day! Frequent negotiation, compromise and sacrifice are warning signs of a doomed relationship. If you find yourself having to negotiate, compromise or sacrifice more than once a week to keep your partnership going, that relationship has too many natural disharmonies to be right for you, or the other person. Fun, nurturing, lasting partnerships are based on natural mutuality—an organic harmony of traits and values that already exist before the two people meet, not after they both give up their spirit to “make things work.” If a relationship is hard, troublesome and requires a lot of struggle and effort, guess what? No amount of communication or counseling is going to make that connection easy, fun or fruitful.
Myth No.3 - All the good ones are taken.
Reality: Every single person has a special, perfect someone waiting for them. The togetherness we long for is assured. We have pre-arranged with one, or more, personal soulmates to meet this lifetime in order to help each other open to love. All you need to do is remove the living room couch, refrigerator and kitchen sink from blocking the front door to your house (heart) so that your destined lover can get in!
Myth No.4 - You can borrow good qualities from your “better half.”
Reality: You can for a while. But you need to quickly become—rather than borrow—those good qualities. Otherwise, you’re dependent on the other person for the better qualities. Enjoy intimacy as a mutual exchange of energy between interdependent equals. Address your flaws, and become the type of person you'd like to date. The Law of Attraction rules in seeking a partner. Like vibration attracts like vibration. If you possess the qualities that you want in a partner, the law of attraction will work for you.
Myth No.5 - If I can just change my partner’s behavior, things will be better.
Reality: Famous last words! YOU can’t change other people. They need to evolve on their own path at their own pace. Besides, you are always dating yourself anyway! In truth, your partner is solely—souly—a liberating mirror reflection of your own consciousness. You must change your inside world for the outside world to improve. You are always meeting yourself in others. If you’re not happy with the type of person you are attracting, take a look at the type of person you are.
Myth No.6 - A member of the opposite sex—or energy—will balance me out.
Reality: Being balanced is an inside job. Fuse the forces of your feminine and masculine energies to tap your full potential. Cultivate playfulness, laughter and self-revealing humor. Invite serendipity and surprise to reveal your other side. Welcome the unexpected and spontaneous from yourself!
Myth No.7 - I have to take what I get; I can't be choosy.
Reality: Invoke the basic Feng-shui Law of the Vacuum: You must be willing to walk away from what you don't want so that you can be available (empty, receptive, open) for what you do want. The next perfect partner for you can’t come into your life if your love space is filled with someone you are tolerating, settling for, or simply using to avoid loneliness.
Myth No.8 - I’m stuck with a lousy Love Script.
Reality: You can re-write your Personal Love Theme with a better ending. Choose to be innocent (free) of the effect of the past. Performing an autopsy on a failed relationship can be a very valuable tool in helping you understand which areas you need to work on to be more successful in your next relationship. Then be willing to acquire or develop the skills and qualities required to help you be more successful in your next connection.
Myth No.9 - I have to give up my personal freedom to be in a committed relationship. Love = Ball & Chain.
Reality: Real love and freedom go hand in hand. In a soulmate connection based on the optimal spiritual evolution of each party, you can maintain personal freedom while opening to profound intimacy. Give your commitment and trust to the spirit, rather than the form, of the relationship. Sometimes lack of communication is the culprit, if you view a partnership as bondage. Identify the amount of space you need to be happy in a relationship and learn how to communicate your desire to your partner.
Myth No.10 - Relationships take time, energy, effort and hard work.
Reality: The only work involved is keeping love away. We spend countless hours and effort successfully dodging love at every point of contact in our lives. Every encounter with another human being is an opportunity to receive love—in the form of kindness, generosity, a warm handshake or a shared laugh. Right relationships give you energy. Lousy relationships drain your energy.
Myth No.11- If I open my heart, my partner can hurt my feelings. Love = Pain.
Reality: Other people cannot hurt our feelings; they can only trigger feelings that are already hurt within us. The hurt feelings are already present in our consciousness—in our past, our personality, our programming. In truth, your partner is doing you a big favor by bringing up a wound, a sore spot, within a loving context—for the purpose of healing and releasing it. It’s not possible to avoid hurt feelings in life or a relationship. But you can use the support of real love to move the hurt feelings up and out.
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