The Holiday season is taxing. It is difficult to incorporate all the demands of the Holidays into our already jammed packed calendar: all those parties, the shopping, decorating, cooking and just all the extra details. And it is even harder when we are emotionally and physically exhausted. This is why I want to specifically target how you can make sure you are up to the part. |
The first thing to do is to stream line your operation. Create room for the additional demands you'll be putting on yourself and your calendar. So, put on hold, quit, or delegate certain projects, tasks and commitments. Don't try to do it all!!
The second thing to do is to make sure that you stock up on energy and enthusiasm. You do this by making sure you are nurturing yourself (time for this is built-in in step one above): have a pampering session, take your vitamins, take catnaps, maintain your workout routine, stay away from sugar, caffeine and the like, eat nutritiously, maintain your spiritual exercises, use your support system to help you accomplish tasks and to lend you a listening ear, and have a focused action plan so you don't spin your wheels and waste energy.
And, finally, and most importantly, put on your pink colored glasses.쳌 How you choose to look at things, people, actions and reactions, gifts, demands and expectations, etc. will greatly impact your experience of the season.
Your partner is an important part of this equation. How you communicate expectations, share tasks, nurture each other, and stay connected could mean the difference between surviving the Holidays or thoroughly enjoying them!
One way to make sure you and your partner are on the same team and operate as a well-oiled machine, is to invite your partner to dance.쳌 By this I mean to be aware of their triggers so that you are not unknowingly pushing them away and creating friction. Being aware of what turns them off and makes them uncooperative, and staying clear of these, welcomes them to dance with you. When you choose to see your partner as trying to take care of themselves and their wishes as opposed to trying to make life difficult for you, life just gets more negotiable and easier.
How do you know what are your partner's triggers? You know! Being overbooked, long drives in traffic, endless shopping trips to crowded malls, all work and no fun, being bossed around, not giving suggestions or ideas, not being consulted when plans are made, not helping out, you knowâ€¦ Your partner has been telling you forever what things they don't like, just listen and compromise. Make deals and reward each other. And throw them a bone! A happy partner means a happy you!!
Happy Holiday Planning!!!
Created by Emma K. Viglucci, CFT, LMFT, CIT Marriage and Family Therapist, Writer & Speaker Director, Founder & President Member-At-Large, NYAMFT
Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC Succeed at Your Relationship and Your Life! 280 Madison Avenue @ 40th Street, Suite 208, NYC 10016 212-537-9055 x100 Visit our Website
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