"Honey, why can't I come with you and we'll play golf together?"
Admit it, fellas – these are words to make a man's blood run cold. Because from time immemorial there hasn't been any good answer to that question. Sure, you could tell her the truth – I hate golf, I only do it to get the hell away from you for a few hours – but that will only mean she's going to talk more.
Like we said, there's no good answer – until now, that is, thanks to the folks at the Men's Carpet Conspiracy of New Hoboken. The men at the Men's CC are men, so, as men, they know what you and all men know – you couldn't give a ruined rat's liver what's on your floors. But they also know something that may have slipped your notice: she does. And in this scientific fact lies the solution to your dilemma:
Give her a carpet.
Carpet adds warmth and elegance to your home. Today's carpets are available in so many colors and styles that there is sure to be one that complements your decor, suits your lifestyle, and fits your budget. And carpet can actually reduce airborne allergens and so improve your home's indoor air quality, as well as suppressing noise, like the annoying tuneless humming that he doesn't even seem to know he's doing, or the incessant clicking of his stupid slobbering dog's claws that goes on endlessly until you think there isn't enough chardonnay in the world to keep you sane.
The words above are from the tag that comes with the carpet that will be delivered to your home (including an optional personal message seemingly signed by you) from the Men's Carpet Conspiracy. They are designed by men experts to appeal to the little woman's nesting instincts and decorating urges – that all women have – and they have been proven by men time and again to divert her attention from the thing you and all men so desperately don't want to the thing all of her species does – a carpet of her own to clean and care for.
Or should we say fore?
The Floor Store has Northern California’s largest in-stock selection of famous-name and designer carpet, from the amazing Mohawk Silk to 100% New Zealand wool. Go to www.floorstores.com to find The Floor Store location nearest you, in Albany, Concord, Dublin, San Rafael, Santa Rosa, and Pittsburg.
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