Over the millennia, mankind has put together a fine list of accomplishments: from agriculture to civilization, from the automobile to modern medicine, to rapid social and technological progress, the human race can rate itself as a highly accomplished species. Among all of these other high-toned achievements, it is also worth mentioning the lesser-known, but no less astonishing attainments of the human body itself. These weird manhood tricks and exploits are sure to elevate anyone’s respect for humanity - or at least raise an eyebrow or two. Better, yet, with the right approach to manhood care, readers may find that they can make their own mark when it comes to male organ fame. |
Male organ World Records
First, the most impressive of the male organ world records are reviewed.
1) The largest and smallest human manhood . In terms of sheer proportion, humans are relatively well-endowed, with an average soft manhood of about 2.5 inches, and 5-6 inches when hard. However, there are extreme variations in size, in both directions. The largest manhood ever officially recorded was a whopping 13.5 inches when hard, and the smallest was just .39 inch.
2) Longest emission distance. This record, obtained somehow or other, comes in at 18 feet. Millions of men are currently hard at work trying to do it one better.
3) Fastest emission speed. The fastest emission clocks in at 42.7 miles per hour. Talk about a hosing.
4) The largest all-around manhood collection. This would be the Iceland Phallological Museum, containing both intact organs and various parts.
5) Longest self-pleasuring session. Nine hours, 58 minutes - and a whole lotta lube.
6) Greatest number of partners in a single day. The jury’s still out on this one, as multiple claims have been made, but the number seems to stick around 102 for a male.
Entertainment and Cultural Venues
For those who are jaded from weeks and years of boring movies, broadway musicals, sporting events and other yawners of the sort, manhood puppetry offers a novel and fascinating form of entertainment. Popularized by the Melbourne, Australia duo Simon Morley and David "Friendly" Friend, this unique form of entertainment involves two guys, undressed, onstage, performing various comic maneuvers and contortions with their very own flesh puppets.
Party Tricks that Impress
For those who find themselves unable to travel to Melbourne to witness these professionals at work, a little at-home practice with a mirror can help any guy hone some puppetry skills of his own. Some popular party tricks include folding and twisting the manhood into various animal shapes, including dogs, cats, bears, bats, and (of course) elephants.
How to care for the trophy-winner
Whether a man is set on besting any of the world records described here, or he simply wants some party tricks for the next boys’ night out, frat party, family reunion or what have you, proper manhood care is essential to ensure that the equipment is ready for its debut. After all, puppet tricks with a scaly, reddened, wrinkly member are less likely to impress than those performed with a smooth, supple tool. To achieve that camera-ready glow, men should follow a tri-partite process.
1) Manscaping - a must for those who want to show off their package in all its glory. Using a sharp pair of scissors, a fresh razor, or an electric shaver, men should carefully remove the hair to a level that sets off the manhood to its best advantage. For longer hair, it is best to trim it first, before applying a razor. Take care to pull the skin taut to avoid cutting those delicate folds.
2) Spa treatment - a big no-brainer. Start by soaking the manhood in a warm bath - not too hot, to avoid drying and redness. Pull back the foreskin, if still attached, to soak away the smegma underneath. Wash the whole deal with a gentle cleanser, rinse, and towel dry.
3) Moisturize - while the skin is still warm and glowing from the bath, apply a high-end male organ moisturizing formula. A specialized male organ health cream (health professionals recommend Man 1 Man Oil) is a good bet. Vitamins, amino acids, antioxidants and emollients that are formulated with the male organ skin in mind are rapidly absorbed, going straight to work to make sure the star of the show is ready for the next performance.
Visit www.man1health.com for more information about treating common male organ health problems, including soreness, redness and loss of male organ sensation. John Dugan is a professional writer who specializes in men's health issues and is an ongoing contributing writer to numerous online web sites.
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