Dealing with grief as an adult can be difficult and even overwhelming at times. If you're dealing with your own grief while trying to help your child through the grieving process, it can be even more difficult. Children grieve differently than adults, and it can be difficult as a parent to know how to help your child through this process. This article will offer some basic advice on how to help your grieving child. If you need more help than what this article has to give, then seek the aid of a licensed professional counselor in NC. Answer Their Questions Children learn and come to terms with things by asking questions. When your child asks a question, it is because they don't understand something and are seeking clarification. Helping your child to understand what has happened is a vital part of guiding them through the grieving process, so you need to be willing and able to answer any and all questions they have about the person's death. This can be especially difficult when your child is asking questions immediately after death, as you may be dealing with your own grief. However, you need to be sensitive to your child's needs and do your best to answer their questions. Be sure to use clear and simple language that they will understand. A young child may not understand euphemisms like "Grandma passed away" or "She lost her husband." These kinds of phrases may cause a child to expect that the person will return eventually, or that the person simply needs to be found. Though it may sound blunt to adult ears, simply saying that a person died or was killed is the best way to explain the situation to a child. Let Them Choose How to Grieve No matter how young your child is, they likely have opinions about things and know what feels right to them. So when a loved one passes away, you should give your child choices in how to grieve the person's passing. Some children may want to keep photos or other memorabilia in their rooms to remember the person, while others may be uncomfortable with too many reminders. If the deceased was a close family member, ask your child if they would like to be involved in the funeral planning. Helping to pick the casket and funeral flowers, or even being able to say a few words at the service can help your child to gain closure. But never push your child to be involved if they don't wish to be. They should be permitted to grieve in their own way, just as you should be. Be Open to Talking about It As adults, we often treat death as a taboo subject, and we don't much like speaking about it. However, being able to speak about the deceased allows children to share their feelings and work through the grieving process. You can encourage your child to talk about their feelings about the person's death by speaking about the person yourself. Sharing a memory or saying something as simple as, "Your mom really loved this song," can act as permission for the child to talk about the person. Additionally, sharing memories about your parted loved one shows your child that the person can live on in your memories, and can still be a part of your lives in many ways. This can be very important for a child. Overall, you need to respect the way your child grieves. While you may want to stay busy, your child may withdraw and wish to stay at home. If you or your child need help working through grief, seek the help of a licensed professional counselor in NC.
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