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1. Don’t squeeze to hard on any given situation. There is a tendency to go on overdrive rather than getting the goals reformulated in a way that works better for you. You could be doing just about the same things, but the goals should be modulated a bit to where you feel a bit more comfortable with what you are trying to do for the moment. For example, someone says I make 100 thousand a year. Why is the year the litmus for a personal earnings situation? Maybe that is the contract, but the goals should be reformulated to some other criteria that might generate more optimism. Such as I can get 10 big clients a year or 6 big clients in the next few months give or take. 2. Try to look at the platforms you already have that are good. For example, the look always tends to be upward from a seeming shortfall. But if the shortfall is really that bad, then why even look up. For example, if I am a hiker, and the mountain climb I am about to do is just out of my league as a hiker, then that is one situation that is a seeming reality. But that shortfall relates more to my platform, that I am overstrained by attempting to climb dangerous heights without a trail and it is just too high an elevation climb and the terrain is just too dicey for me. . But other people might have a more positive platform for this, and that is the basis for the attempt. Most things will not be as precarious in the potential shortfall as something like this. So what if I mess up a date, it is not the same as messing up a mountain climb on dangerous trails. I am still on a relatively good platform even with the mess up, and I don’t lose my good platform. So its like a moderate diver, getting back on a nice welcoming wide platform and they can just do the dive again or take an easy jump off the distance, say it is a 20 plus foot jump. So, in the example of the date, the person you are is generally attractive, engaging and interesting and you get to get right back to that platform despite the date gone bad. 3. Incorporate positive feedback as sometimes coming from an intelligent source. People tend to brush away compliments and discount them. But the compliments can also be relabeled as intelligent positive feedback, someone who is in the same universe of thought, is given you an outside view of something that is positive that maybe you can embrace to a greater degree and make greater use of or at least ride with a bit more. The person might not be glad handing you, but they might be actually giving you intelligent or intelligence based information that is usable. I remember having a beautiful length of the court lefty drive that I had some nice compliments for on the basketball court. Maybe I should have thought at the time, I should use this ability to go to the opposite hand more often in the games. 4. Even out your thinking a bit. For example, I am thinking of going to the beach in the next day or so before the water is too cold to swim as the season is ending. In getting into the push, everything else needs to be on hold. I can bump this idea up in importance a bit, given the closing window of opportunity, but I need to relax and even out my thinking and maybe I can multitask and bring my book or papers to the beach and still tune in on other things. Or the baseball player, who is in a 3 for 20 slump and goes up to the plate thinking he is a .150 hitter. In the meantime he has hit 30 homers for the season prior to the slump. He should optimistically even out his thinking to include his 30 homer output. Or the girl has her hair out of place and is upset, but she can even out her thinking that she is still beautiful. 5 You have already gone further than this in other areas. For example, the PHD. In mathematics and physics is having a hard time in getting going on his short story and only has 2 pages written. He has gone further than this in other areas, getting this hard earned PhD in sciences and the short story is a lesser task. Or someone who has just climbed several of the peaks in the Himalayas successfully within a mountain climbing expedition now finds herself relatively broke or a pauper. The resultant financial climb she may need to make is not going to be as difficult a task no matter what as the climbing of these peaks in one of the most adventurous and difficult regions of the world for climbing. A person has just had an engaging conversation with the Pope or President and is now worried about being interesting on a lunch date with a new possible friend. Why would this person feel this way given that the Pope and or the President already found them interesting and engaging?
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