At the time you were kneeling at the church so many years ago and you heard the statement "for better or for worse", did you concentrate on the "better" rather than the "worse" portion of that vow? Chances are that you did since you were probably madly in love and thought that love can resolve any problem. |
What you did not realize is that things change, and if a couple does not change at the same time as circumstances and situations change, they are going to inevitably grow separate. Oftentimes they grow apart to the point where the different forks in the road that they individually traveled don't have a snowball's chance of meeting up again, at least not without significant effort on the part of both partners.
Before you undertake any rash decisions and begin spouting statistics claiming that more than 50% of all marriages end in divorce, you must realize that although that is statistically accurate, that does not automatically mean it applies to you and your situation. Each case is different and every couple experiencing problems has a particular and unique set of circumstances to evaluate.
First off, do both of you really want a divorce? If only one of you wants a divorce, then it is going to be a tough struggle, but if both of you want a divorce, then both of you must understand what is at stake and how to prepare for it, both financially as well as emotionally. It can be done cleanly without a lot of bother but you are still going to want to ensure you know your rights, since if the love you once had is now wiped out, there is a great risk you could get cheated in the settlement process before you even recognize it if you are not aware of your divorce rights.
But don't be in such a rush to go there – do you really want a divorce? You must understand what the problem is and see what can be done. Compromises can be established on both parts that can bring back what you once had. Take some time to concentrate on each other and recall what it was that pulled you to the other person way back when. You claim that person no longer exists? Don't be so positive, because with compromises to get rid of the perhaps really little things that pulled you apart, it may not be as tough as you think to return yourselves back to the warm relationship you had at one time. And consider the fact that if you can handle that, which is going to take effort on both parts, isn't that really a whole lot simpler than returning to the bar scene to meet a new someone?
The bottom line is that you must discover what you want and what is best for you in the long run. Divorce may be the answer you are seeking, but remember that divorce also creates a whole new set of problems for you to cope with, and the grass on that side of the fence may not be as green as it seems from where you are now. For more insights and additional information about determining if you really want to Avoid Divorce or if divorce is really the answer you want, as well as finding many resources to further help you with this decision, please visit our web site at http://www.my-divorce-guide.com
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