POLITICAL SATIRE Richmond, VA—In an effort to grab a bigger share of thewomen"s vote come November, Mitt Romney Mitt Romney has proposed legislation that would decriminalize Peeping Tomismand instead press the nation"s estimated 1 million windowsillvoyeurs into government service. Attacked by critics for promotingbig government, the former Massachusetts governor and inevitableRepublican presidential nominee explained that the Peeping Tomswould not actually be on the government payroll. "What I"m proposing," said Romney, "is thelargest mobilization of government-endorsed volunteerism since thePeace Corps. Peeping Toms from one end of this great country ofours to the other would be given the authorization to providesurveillance of all households with women of childbearing age tomake sure that they are not using birth control." Romney went on to say that if the Peeping Toms found contraceptivedevices or birth control pills, they would be permitted toconfiscate them immediately. However, to show that he has the bestinterest of women at heart, Romney said women who engaged incontraceptive practices would not be prosecuted. "Womenbelong at the country club," he said. "Not injail." According to Romney presidential campaign senior advisor Eric Fehrnstrom, the proposed legislation meets twocritical needs. "It reinforces family values by making surethat women are not tempted to use birth control," he said."And it will create one million jobs." But again critics went on the offensive, pointing out that thepotential jobs created by the Peeping Tom legislation arenon-compensatory and, therefore, would deliver no boost to theeconomy. Fehrnstrom called this line of attack "partisanpickiness." He also accused the Democrats of hypocrisy. "What we have here is a very specific proposal about how torestore America to an ethical high ground," he scoffed."And all the Democrats can focus on is the absence of apaycheck, which many Americans, the governor included, don"treceive and do just fine all the same. Plus—and correct me ifI"m wrong—the Peace Corps and government-sponsoredvolunteerism were Democratic ideas, were they not?" As for influential Republicans getting on the bandwagon, Rush Limbaugh Rush Limbaugh was first in line. "Romney is definitely onto somethingimportant here," he said. "You"ll remember lastFebruary, when I exposed Sandra Fluke for the sex-crazed co-ed sheis, I suggested that if taxpayers have to pay for her birth controlpills—i.e., promiscuity—we should at least get to watchher in action. Well, Mr. Romney, sign me up for your surveillanceteam. I"m ready to watch!" Added Fehrnstrom, "So much for the GOP desire to be in yourbedroom being impractical." If you like writing about U.S. politics and the 2012 campaign,enter "The American Pundit" competition. Allvoices is awarding four $250 prizes each monthbetween now and November. These monthly winners earn eligibilityfor the $5,000 grand prize, to be awarded after the Novemberelection. I am an expert from mosaics-tile.com, while we provides the quality product, such as Metal Mosaic Tiles Manufacturer , Rustic Porcelain Tiles Manufacturer, Ceramic Mosaic Tiles,and more.
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