|
Raising children is one of the toughest and most fulfilling jobs in the world and the one for which you may be the least prepared. Here are some ways to tackle your child-rearing responsibilities that will help you feel more fulfilled as a parent, and enjoy your children more, too. 1. Nurture your child’s self esteem Your tone of voice, your body language, and your every expression is absorbed by your child. Your words and actions as parents affect your child’s developing self-image more than anything else in his world. Praising your child for his accomplishment, however small, will make him feel proud; letting him to do things for himself will make him feel capable and independent. By contrast, belittling your child or comparing him unfavorably to another will make him feel worthless. 2. Catch your child being good Make a point of finding something to praise every day. Be generous with rewards-your love, hugs and compliments can work wonders and are often rewards enough. Soon you will find you are “growing” more of the behavior you would like to see. 3. Set limits and be consistent with your discipline Discipline is necessary in every household. Children may test the limits you establish for them but they need limits to grow into responsible adults. You should have a system in place, one warning followed by loss of privileges. A common mistake parents make is failure to follow through with consequence when rules are broken. A rule without consequences is not a rule at all-it’s a threat. You can’t discipline a child for talking back one day, and ignore it the next. Being consistent sets an example of what we expect from our children. 4. Spend Quality Time with Kids It is extremely important for parents to spend some quality time with kids everyday even if they are busy. Schedule a time that is exclusively for your child and no matter how busy you are or how tired you are any day, never miss it. Make sure you do not get interrupted and disturbed. You must be preoccupied with various problems in your life but child is not aware of all this. You should forget about every other thing, listen and get completely involved with your kids during this time. 5. Try to Have Family Dinner Daily If possible have family dinner daily. This should be the time when your entire family is on the dining table and everyone interacts with each other and tell his or her day out. Be prepared to pay attention to your child’s way of speaking. Make sure he shares with you everything and tells you all he did in his school. This is important and is not possible with force or in one day. You will have to spend every day some time with him and then when he will find confidence in you, he will make you his friend. 6. Discuss Big and Small Issues with Your Child If any day you had a very bad day and you are upset or simply exhausted, just tell your child about it. Let him sit by you and have your touch and care. If he comes forward and massages your head or feet, let him do that. He loves you and wants you to be fit and energetic always. Try to never become unhappy otherwise, your tensions are bound to travel to an impressionable mind. 7. Avoid Spending Time only in Playing When you are spending time with your child, do not just play or watch television, try to talk to him. Ask him about the day at school and share some of your happenings also. Spending time with children does not mean that you have to do it in a routine way. Have a good relationship with your child and start this as early as possible. 8. Always listen to your child carefully Pay attention to him or her in the time that you allot to your little one. Many a times, parents are just physically present with their kids. If you do not communicate with your kids, there is a possibility that the child might reciprocate similarly. A child might become parent-deaf. Children do not register their parents' requests because they do not get a favorable response from their parents. 9. Small things that matter A phone call before leaving office, a surprise visit in the school, to join the community picnic and a close look on the progress card can work wonders. Bring the child surprise gifts. These gifts need not be expensive but it is the thought that matters. 10. Be consistent and credible Do not tell lies to your child. Do not ever fool him or her, with regard to your work outside. Even if you want to spend a weekend without the child, be honest with him or her. Tell the child about the exact nature of your compulsions, and also about amount of time spent outside home. 11. Be a good role model Young children learn a great deal about how to act by watching you. The younger they are, the more cues they take from you. Be constantly aware that you are being observed by your children. Studies have shown that children who hit usually have a role model for aggression at home. Treat your children the way you expect other people to treat you. 12. Make communication a priority Children want and deserve explanations of everything. If we don’t give time to explain, children will begin to wonder about our values and motives. Parents who reason with their children allow them to understand and learn in a non-judgmental way. Make your expectations clear. If there is a problem, describe it to your child, express your feelings about it and invite your child to work on a solution with you. Be open to your child’s suggestions and adjust your expectations to a more realistic level. 13. Show your love is unconditional As a parent, you are responsible for correcting and guiding your child. But how you express your corrective guidance makes all the difference in how your child receives it. When you have to confront your child, avoid blaming, criticizing or faultfinding, which undermine his self-esteem. Instead, strive to nurture and encourage even when you are disciplining your child. Make sure he knows that while you want and expect him to do better next time, you love him-no matter what. 14. Withdraw from Conflict If your child is testing you through a temper tantrum, or being angry or speaking disrespectfully to you, it is best if you leave the room or tell the child you will be in the next room if he wants to "Try again." Do not leave in anger or defeat. 15. Avoid overprotection Overprotective parents should change their attitude if they want their children to grow up as independent, confident adults. They should convey a message to child that their concern is for the child’s safety and not from a lack of trust in the child’s competence. He could discuss the dangers of the activity with the child and advise him what to do in case of an emergency. 16. Do not pamper unreasonably Children brought up in over-affluent families tend to lose their faculty of imagination. Since they have too much on their platter, it becomes difficult for them to yearn for anything. Therefore, parents should not bombard their children with more than what is needed. Over pampered children are prone to acute depression because they cannot take disappointments in the right spirit. 17. Never satisfy all demands Abundance of anything, ranging from toys, games, sweets and chocolates, spoils children at a very young age. Parents should deliberately leave some wishes unfulfilled. If every whim and fancy of the child is entertained, the child grows up to be a very self-centered person. Parents should prepare their children for the roughs and smooth in life. 18. Never encourage comparisons Parents should always discourage their child’s tendency to compare his/her material assets with other children. For instance, if a child demands a toy merely because a neighbor has got a new one, such a craving should not be entertained. Such children end up constantly comparing themselves with other people. Parents have to curb this tendency at a very early stage. Dr. Ravi Malik is Co-author of famous book an Approach to Paed Problems? which is written for post graduates pediatric doctors & Head of Paediatric unit-I at Pushpanjali Crosslay Hospital. We will full guide for your health not only in present but also in past. Visit for India no # 1 Healthcare Centre in Nirman Vihar New Delhi.Read more..
Related Articles -
Steps, to, Effective, Parenting,
| 
