We're entitled to whatever emotions we have, and there's nothing wrong with being disappointed in your partner. What are advising however is that you should accept the fact that it is inevitable for you to feel that way eventually. The question is: can you get over your differences as a couple? Are you willing to correctly deal with the conflicts and disagreements that will come up as result of your personality clashes? You should, because they will happen someday - whether you want to or not. |
Realize that these small problems will eventually grow into a struggle between you two. Pretty soon, you'll be fighting over how the relationship should go. Again, these imperfections are part of your relationship's timetable. You have the power to move on or remain stagnant.
As you continue to argue about the direction of your marriage, both of you will force your own interests on each other. You can never bring yourselves to deal with this conflict if you don't fully accept the existence of these imperfections in the first place.
Denial of reality is a huge barrier to coming up with a solution for marital conflicts. If you want to get past these challenging phases, you must first learn to embrace the fact that life is hardly perfect and your marriage is no exception. The lack of perfection in all aspects of your existence is one of the undying constants of this world.
Like it or not, imperfection can't be avoided, so the only thing you can do is to open your eyes to it. The sooner you can find peace in the flaws of your marriage, the easier it will be for you to move on to the latter stages. When you realize that it's not always fun and games, only then you can start picking up the pieces. The reconciliation process can only begin after a couple learns to spot the flaws in their marriage and properly work their way through them.
Disagreements and power struggles will no longer be a threat, but merely a chance to strengthen the bonds that you share. Accepting each other's differences allows for a more harmonious marriage. When you accept that difficulties are part of life, they will no longer matter to you. This is the mark of a truly mature relationship.
In short, a good eye for imperfection is needed before actually dealing with it. Identifying and accepting these necessary flaws greatly affects the dynamics of your marriage. You'll realize that the love you have for one another is much bigger than the problems you face. This is the point where a couple can finally learn to accept the best and the worst of each other.
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