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In the mid 90's, I complained to my PCP about memory difficulties. He mentioned adult attention disorder. He sent me to a psychiatrist who started me on a series of stimulants. There was no discussion of symptoms or tests involved before starting this experiment. Of course, none of these medications helped me with my so-called “problem.” I became anxious and depressed. It seemed like the psychiatrists tested me with 100s of medications in an effort to find a "cure" to my problem. I had dozens of DSM-IV diagnoses including attention deficit disorder, Asperger's syndrome, bipolar disorder, psychosis, and various personality disorders. At one point, I underwent neuropsychological testing, which revealed executive dysfunction disorder. My doctors were extremely liberal in handing out all kinds of medications that had nothing to do with my primary diagnosis of bipolar disorder. I landed in the hospital a couple of times because of the side effects. The doctors never tested me or asked me any questions to determine whether I actually had the symptoms relating to the illnesses for which they were treating me. It’s an experience like no other. I’d like to point out, that psychiatrists cannot easily be sued, because it might obstruct them from keeping the “crazy psych patients” out of public view. I have heard the term “crazy psych patients” used by emergency room hospital staff. If a psychiatric suit was brought to trial, who is the jury going to believe; the Harvard educated doctor, or the mental patient? It seems obvious to me. It’s funny. I was the one who came up with the bipolar diagnosis. I got the information from a film. "Hey. That sounds like me." So the medical professionals ran with it for many years. After a while, I would tell them what they wanted hear, because I thought that was my "job" as a mental patient. Every week or two, I would hear “There’s something wrong with you.” They have their own way of saying it using medical terminology. This went on for well over fifteen years. It wears a person down. The bipolar label is terrible. Interestingly enough, I have never had one person tell me there is something wrong with me. That is unless I told the person first. Recently, I came off of Risperdal after doing my fifteen year sentence. I discovered that this drug suppresses one’s emotions. These feelings seem to have memories of some kind. Memories never disappear. I believe it’s difficult to erase a memory, even in cases of amnesia and Alzheimer's disease. The stress of my long psychiatric experience came back to me all at once. I submitted a couple angry articles concerning my experiences to a number of Internet directories. This act came as a result of being freed from the chemical restraint of Risperdal. The articles mentioned can be found in directories similar to the one this paper was submitted to. I admit; I probably didn’t make a smart decision by putting my medical history on the Internet. I was thinking that some people might benefit from my negative experience. I have never been hospitalized or arrested for my supposed illnesses. I was only hospitalized when I experienced an adverse drug reaction. Recently, my neurologist diagnosed me with executive dysfunction disorder. What a surprise. My memory complaint is what initiated me into the psychiatric system. This is a possible experience one might have by making an appointment with a therapist or a psychiatrist. Tread this system carefully.
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