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Many of you cynical people in my reading audience, believe that winning the lottery is just a matter of plain dumb luck - which I guess has a certain logic to it since so many plain, dumb, lucky people seem to win the lottery. But, believe it or not, there are actually ways you can increase your chances of winning the lottery using the simple mystical techniques that I will explain to you in this article. These techniques came to me in a vivid dream after I passed out after attempting to do a single pushup in my new exercise regimen yesterday. It was kind of like a near death experience, without actually being near death, but just a little woozy. I believe that God gave me access to these supernatural lottery winning techniques as my reward for working so hard to get into shape, and because I have always been kind to animals and girl scouts. Mystical Technique Number 1 - Human Sacrifice My first mystical technique to win the lottery is a time tested and convenient way to win favor with a large assortment of gods, demi-gods, goddesses, demi-goddesses, and any other supernatural authority figures who enjoy blood letting. People have used human sacrifice since time began to get all kinds of things from the gods. The ancient Aztec culture was particularly good at getting godly favors by simply smashing the heads of captured prisoners of war and pushing virgins off of the top of high pyramids. It was all in good fun and boy did it get good results. I propose that you can get the same results by using human sacrifice to win the lottery. Let's be honest, all of us have a family member, friend or neighbor who we really don't like that much. Most of these annoying people would not even be missed and they probably live a lonely, unfulfilling life anyway. Why shouldn't they help you become a multi-millionaire, by allowing you to sacrifice them to the gods? The selfishness of some people is amazing! The actual human sacrifice technique is quite simple and inexpensive - no need to invest in any special knifes, clubs or other equipment. You can use tools and weapons that you find around the house - the gods don't care. Simply tie up your victim, whisper a prayer to your deity of choice that you win the lottery, and go to town. Before you know it, lottery riches are coming your way, Please remember, it is always good form once you win the lottery to throw a few bucks towards the sacrifice victim's family as a gesture of good will and generosity. Pay it forward people! Mystical Technique Number 2 - Time Travel My next mystical technique to win the lottery combines my visionary techniques with science.The actual scientific basis for this technique is called "time". As most of you know, the lottery drawing takes place at a specific "time" each week. Since that "time" never varies, if you go ahead in "time" to after the lottery numbers are drawn, write down the numbers, and then come back in "time" and bet those numbers - you will WIN. Wow, it is amazing. I suggest that you search Craigslist or E-Bay for a scientist who has a time machine that you can use, or who wants to sell a time machine to you at a reasonable price (always negotiate with scientists who are notoriously bad businessmen). Get into the time machine a few hours before the next lottery drawing and go forward in time to the day after the lottery drawing. Go online in the future and write down the winning lottery numbers, and if you have time, call yourself as a joke. Next, come back in time to before the lottery drawing and play the winning numbers. Please follow my instructions carefully and do not accidentally go back in time and play last weeks lottery numbers. You will lose, and you may unravel the fabric of time and space due to your stupidity. Mystical Technique Number 3 - Play Every Single Number Combination This last technique to win the lottery is so simple that I can't believe that God had to reveal this to me in a dream. I'm so clueless and I guess all of you are also. Listen to this and see if you understand the subtle cleverness of what I am saying. Instead of just playing one, or a few different number combinations - PLAY EVERY SINGLE NUMBER COMBINATION!!!!!!!!!!! Think about it, and please correct me if I am wrong, but if you play every single number combination it seems like your chances of winning are pretty good. It is simple, and yet genus on my part (and of course Gods part) to come up with this. Try it this weekend, and if playing all of number combinations doesn't work, try it again next weekend. I really think that playing all of the possible number combinations every time will pay off eventually , although I don't know if that could ever be proven through any mathematical formulas or anything like that. It is just a God-given hunch. Please play responsibly! ****************** There you have my mystical lottery winning tips. I wish all of you good luck in your quest to become multi-millionaires without having to do the slightest bit of work and without having any discernible talent or skills whatsoever. Life is good. By the way, if these techniques don't produce the lottery winning results you are looking for try this: http://b814cis-do7t9ma6i8xapmuk17.hop.clickbank.net/ Do you like this article? Get a free e-book, Six Great Reasons to Use Humor in Your Marketing, written by professional comedy writer and Internet marketing guru, Garry R. Spear. To get your free e-Book, please visit http://www.sonicboomenergy.com
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