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Those words strike the fear of God in the heart of any woman who hears them and almost every woman has. Your head spins. Your heart races. What does it mean??? I'll tell you what it means, and you probably won't like it. It means he's thinking about ending the relationship, but he's either not totally sure, or he doesn't have the balls to dump you outright. However, when you hear those words, your next steps will either save your relationship or send him running for the hills. Below are four things to do if he says "I just need space." 1. Stay 100% totally cool. Think Samuel L. Jackson cool. He is going to expect a big upset. Give him just the opposite. "You know, that surprises me a little, but now that you mention it, I think it's probably a really good idea. I've really been short changing some of my other relationships." 2. Where ever you are when this conversations takes place, excuse yourself, get up and leave. Now, the key to making this work, is again, refer to #1. Stay cool. When you leave, you do not want him to think you are fleeing. You want to be in control of your emotions. Kiss him on the cheek, thank him for dinner, leave him with the tab, and say, "I think my staying here just feels a little awkward right now. I really want to give you what you need. So, I'm just going to take off." Smile confidently and walk. 3. Do not ask questions. Please do not start quizzing him about the parameters of your new spacial agreement. Even though you think you might die if you don't know the new rules, don't ask. Take some initiative and set the new rules yourself. Space means space. NO CALLS, NO EMAIL, NO TEXT, until such time he has decided the space issue has passed. Trust me - you will know when that is. The more space you put between you, the faster it will come. If you have not heard from him in two weeks, pack up the things he left at your place and have a friend drop them at his office. The silence speaks clearly, your relationship is over. However, more likely you will hear from him within a few days. He will be so befuddled by your absence he will call just to see if you're alive. Keep it short. No relationship while he still needs space. 4. Do not under any circumstances become booty call during a period of "space" . Be too busy doing wonderfully fabulous things to have time to even consider being available at 10:30 on Wednesday night - and I mean that - really be too busy doing fabulous things. You know you've neglected your friends. You know you put off taking that dancing class you were interested in. Get out there and live an interesting life. The best antidote to a man who needs space is being interesting, alluring, and totally unavailable. If he calls and wants to "hook-up" politely let him know, you are too tired and sore from your rock climbing class. The truth is that if he says he needs more space, that is a good indicator you are quite possibly over investing your time and energy into the relationship. Let that be an indicator that you need to adjust your course and give him the opportunity to pursue you a bit. Men are a bit like dogs. If you chase them they run, but if you walk away, they will almost always follow you down the street.
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