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OK, so you used to be married and now you’re not. You may be out there happily dating, but are the habits from your wedded days dogging you? Consider the fact that when you’re married, you have the luxury of a long, indefinite “’til death do us part” future in which to settle into a comfortable routine or slowly work through issues with your spouse. On a date, though, everything happens in accelerated time, with equally accelerated consequences. Resolve your arguments , one of the dubious perks of being married, and I suppose if your living together you can get into this habit,is being able to “stomp out of the room, cool yourself down, and bring up the issue again a few days or weeks later — or let it fester forever. While having a knock-down, drag-out argument with someone you’ve just started dating isn’t exactly a good sign, you don’t want to fall into the trap of thinking, If I ignore the problem, it’ll just go away. That just won’t cut it when you’re dating. The challenge now,is to hang in there and keep the lines of communication open. You want to work through the issue, not allow it to linger. Letting yourself go. I am not sure why men and women do this, because they have captured you its not important anymore to try and take care of yourself. When two people are married for a long time, they stop trying to impress each other — thus fueling the market for dumpy sweatshirts, socks with sandals, and New York Yankees baseball caps. This may be fine for a lazy evening at home, but it’s a sure-fire date repellent, according to Friedman. “It’s easy to say, I just want someone who likes me for who I am,but truthfully, the way humans operate is to feel more comfortable with and attracted to someone who cares enough about appearance to look presentable. Simply put, make an effort. There is such a thing as dressing up, and it’s worth trying when wooing someone. The only time you’re allowed to treat constant bickering as a form of affection is when you’re both at least 75, celebrating your golden wedding anniversary and you can't see your life without the other one! Instead of criticizing your new partner, you should make an effort to request what you need in a specific, caring way. For example: instead of shouting ‘You’re always late for everything,’ you can say gently, This Saturday night, it would really mean a lot to me if you showed up on time or even a few minutes early. Common courtesy is one of the first casualties of an unsuccessful marriage and for any relationship really — and even thriving couples can occasionally say things to each other that would make Emily Post blanch. You should start your new relationship on a solid foundation of gratitude and appreciation, right from the beginning. Be thankful for the little things... even the fact that this person is spending the evening with you.” And while you’re at it, go ahead — say it out loud. Love U Sites
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