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It's very difficult for parents to witness their children make seriously bad judgment calls early in life. It's hard to come to terms with the fact that at certain points of their lives, the influence parents have on children will begin to wane. It's difficult to understand why children who were lovingly nurtured can still turn out bad. One of the more concerning problems some parents have is aggression from violent teens. Parenting teens is hard enough but parenting a violent and aggressive teen can take it to a whole new level of difficulty. One important piece of parenting advice is to recognize first that violent teens who victimize others are also (most often than not), victimized themselves. Victimization is their way of lashing out and feeling less powerless. Also, there are times when violent teens don't understand themselves why they are so violent and angry at all times. If they can't understand why they are being violent, you can expect that they also won't understand how they can stop. They take out their anger and frustration by challenging authority figures, breaking things around the house or vandalizing public property, and bullying younger siblings or younger and weaker children. Troubled teens who resort to violent and aggression have a deep-seated desire to be in control and to be in a position of power over somebody or something. Finding out that their violence and aggression puts them in this position can be intoxicating and it's going to be hard to persuade them to not chase after this feeling of being empowered. Here are a few parenting tips in order to deal with violent and agressive teens: 1. Zero tolerance - Make it a clear and consistent rule that you will absolutely not tolerate any sign of violence and agression, whether physical or not at home or outside of it. Teach your teen that it's impossible to live life without annoyance and frustration, but they don't have to react to this with violence. Explain to them what are acceptable ways of expressing anger and frustration, and what are unacceptable and be consistent with upholding this standard at all times. 2. Accountability - It would be good to have a clear expectation of what consequences await violence and aggression. Find punishments that relate to their offense, instead of just threatening to send them off to teen boot camps. Even if you're tired or busy, it helps to be consistent with holding your children accountable for their actions. 3. Be a good example - Children learn from their parents about how to deal with pressures of life. It's very helpful to watch yourself and how you respond to high stress situation and check if your children are getting the bad habit from you or from other people at home. It takes an honest assessment and consistent effort to initiate change to make a huge difference. 4. Seek help - If your child's problem is getting worse and it may be wise to look at troubled teens programs that can better help them stop their violence and aggression. You can try looking into alternative high schools like troubled teens school or therapeutic boarding schools which are different from private boarding schools in that it includes intensive therapy with the academic program. Sometimes you have to admit that what you're doing is good, but it's not enough to help your teen.
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