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The process of divorce can be strenuous. When children are involved it can become even more intense. Both parents will have feelings about how their child will be raised, when they should have visitation, and whom the children should live with. When parents have to face difficult decisions like these, finding someone to help them make the decisions is important. Child mediators are people that will advocate for the child or children. They are there to help parents work through the collaboration that needs to occur so that the needs of their children can be met with as little drama as possible. When a plan is set forth that both parents agree upon, the arguments about when they will see their children will be lessened. When the decision about child custody and visitation schedules are set by the court in litigation, the parents do not have much of a say in the decision that is put forth. When they work together to agree on the terms, they take back control and can create a plan that is acceptable to everyone involved. You can also have the input of your child when you work through a mediator. This will allow them to feel like they have some control over their time as well. When families turn to a child mediator to help them come to a resolution to the problem of splitting time with the children, it works out best if they are open minded when they begin the process. While they may have some specific points that they feel that they can not negotiate about, many of the items that need decided should have some room for making adjustments to the parents desires. The main focus of a child mediator is to make sure that the parents are working towards a plan that benefits the child, not only the parents. There may be tension between the parents due to the divorce, which is common. This can lead to selfish suggestions being made. The mediator will try to bring the parents back to the point where they are considering what is best for the children and will try to lead them away from the anger that they feel towards their ex spouse. When parents decide to have their child participate in the child mediator visit it is important that the focus stays on the child. This is not the time to humiliate or belittle the other parent. As the child sees that they have some control over what may have seemed like an out of control situation, they will be more likely to embrace the changes in their lives and to be more supportive of the schedule that is put in place for them. Using a child mediator to help work out the conditions of split parenting is an excellent idea and will prove to be beneficial to the parents as well as the children that are involved. When everyone involved has a say and can work together to come to an agreement that works for everyone, the stress of the task is greatly reduced and everyone can adapt to the changes much easier. Divorce is stressful enough without worrying about how a judge will decide the child's time should be spent. A child mediator can help the family move past the divorce and on to building a strong relationship down the road. If you are going through a post divorce custody battle you can watch this free video on child custody laws. Always remember to hire a qualified professional who is experienced in child custody mediation who can properly advise you on how to approach the mediation process.
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