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Domestic adoption refers to a process where a child is adopted through a public or government agency. It is tightly controlled as the best outcome for the child is the central focus and the prospective parents have little to say. Private adoption agencies have sprung up in recent years where a profit is needed. As a result, the child’s interests are not foremost, rather pleasing parents and getting good referrals and testimonials is the priority. People choosing domestic adoptions are treated with respect and dignity and their preferences are considered, but in a minor way. Parents may wish to adopt a blue-eyed, blonde three-year-old girl but the agency will be looking first at the children waiting for homes and determine which has the highest need, so they may not get what they specified. Usually prospective homes are simply eager to make a family and give a child a good home and they do not have a big wish list of preferred choices. Before the final domestic adoption is achieved, parents will go through an orientation and their financial, familial, employment, legal and personal backgrounds will be thoroughly examined. A comprehensive home study will be conducted and even after the child is placed, a probationary period is necessary before the placement becomes final. The birth mother is not usually part of the process at all. As compared to a private adoption agency, there are no costs to adopt a child through a government organization. The only money the potential parents have to part with is furnishing the child’s room, buying him or her clothing and personal items, and any school start-up costs or recreational activity fees. Often new parents are so eager to have a complete family; they do not look closely at the background of the youngster. Older children may have been abused or neglected and be very distrustful, causing all sorts of behaviors at least initially. They naively believe that a loving home with a consistent lifestyle and many advantages will overcome any negative feelings the child may have. If they have been childless for a long time, they may underestimate how much domestic adoption will change their lifestyle. And they often feel they should have to ask for help if the situation gets difficult, feeling inadequate in the eyes of their friends or families who have had children the natural way. The easiest way to get a child who has been unharmed by his or her previous life is to take a newborn. But midnight feedings and dirty diapers do not appeal to professional couples who have waited through the early years of the careers and then discovered in their late 30s or early 40s, when they finally attempt to have their children, that they cannot conceive. They turn to domestic adoption for the solution, hoping to get a young child, perhaps even school age, that would be more suitable to their age and station in life. If you are thinking of starting or expanding your family through domestic adoption, do your research first. Talk to other people who have gone through the experience, and take a good hard look at your lifestyle. It is a wonderful thing to give a child a home that has been apprehended by the social service authorities and make a new life for him or her, but you must be sure it is right for you. After all, you are making a lifetime commitment.
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