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Excessive thinking has caused many marriages to fail or at the very least bring ripples of frustration on the otherwise placid seas of love. Simple thoughts can become grounds for a full fledge battle of words. Sometimes something more violent takes place. It is my belief that excessive thinking has been the downfall of mankind since human existence began. That unfortunate gene has been passed down from generation to generation, allowing cerebral activity to run amuck in the lives of otherwise stable people everywhere. It all starts with a question. Since I’m a male, I’ll play the role of the man in this example of excessive thinking. Questions can be simple but with a manipulative twist, designed to keep a conversation going. “Do you think my hair looks good this way?” My wife might ask in the middle of an important football game. “Yeah” I would say while watching the receiver run a post route and then fumble the ball.“But did you like it better the other way?” she persistently asks. “No way, he dropped the ball!!” I replied. She knows I really wasn’t paying attention but that doesn’t matter. Thus comes the overthinking part. She may wonder if I liked her hair before she went to the beauty shop, better than I like the new hair style. These are not questions of great social import, but the answers could lead to bigger and more complicated queries. While most men would be entirely happy with yes or no answers while he is watching a sporting event, women loathe accepting such an answer. My wife has a tendency to analyze almost anything. She never accepts what her brain has heard until she has pondered over every minute detail of the question she has asked and decided a simple answer is not acceptable. Unfortunately most of us are never satisfied with a simple answer to a question, when in fact most questions could be answered with a yes or no. We all have the urge to defend our answers and a simple reply doesn’t give us the chance for excessive thinking. Excessive thinking can lead to thinking deeply! I have a hard time thinking past a simple yes or no, something that my wife can’t seem to wrap her brain around. It’s nice that she thinks I’m more complicated than I am, but most men are just like me, they think a short true answer to any question should be sufficient. Excessive thinking is time consuming. While the wheels are turning over a ‘what if’ question, the spouses could be doing something constructive like listening to each other. It’s surprising just how insightful and intelligent my wife can be when I’m taking the time to hear what she is saying. Eve, when she plucked that Apple, Pomegranate or whatever fruit it was, off the tree of knowledge in the Garden of Eden, was probably guilty of excessive thinking. If she had just chilled out and hadn’t found that fig leaf, the world wouldn’t know the chaos it finds itself in today. Bob Alexander is a son of the south. He has gained expert status in eating barbeque, telling fishing stories and leisure living. He has also become somewhat of an expert at affairs of the heart. Visit his site at: www.redfishbob.com
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