Why do so many marriages fail or end in divorce ?

Sadly a lot of marriages fail, and many end in bitter divorce battles, in this day and age. Numerous times, people will say how sad it was, because when they were first married, both partners would often say to each other; 'Our marriage will never end', and 'I will always Love you!', and when such statements are said, they both were quite true as far as feelings go.

The aforementioned statements were something that my wife and I said to each other numerous times, yet after 10 years of being a husband and wife, our marriage ended.

What happens that causes a marriage to end? After having been through a marriage myself, I can only state what I witnessed firsthand in my own marriage, as well as what I have been told in conversations over the years, by others that have been through a divorce.

In the beginning of most marriages, things seem like a dream come true, and no matter what others may tell you about the slim odds of your marriage surviving, you do not believe anything you are told, in fact you don't even want to hear about the possibility of your marriage ending, because to you, that will never happen.

Believe me, at the beginning of our marriage, my wife and myself were both 100% sure are marriage would last until we were both old and dead. Sadly, there are numerous things that can cause feelings towards each spouse to change drastically over time.

Often the biggest problems in a lot of marriages is the old curse of money, and by that I mean not having enough of it to maintain the family lifestyle, especially when children come along.

Before marriage, one or even both partners, may have spent some time living by themselves, they had a job that was not a high paying job, but yet for one person living alone, it may have paid all of the bills, with a little money left over between checks.

When a man and woman decide to be romantically involved, and decide to get married, both partners usually work, and things seem very good. Two checks coming in pay the bills comfortably, with extra money to go out to dinner with, and even buy some furnishings for the home.

Sadly in such cases, things move along at a very fast pace, and the situations about the future, are not discussed or thought over, nearly as much as they should be.

Soon, the wife becomes pregnant, and it seems to be a real blessing, as it is, but this often means, the wife may decide to quit working, to be a stay at home mom, to raise her child, as happened in my own marriage.

Then before you know it, things are getting a little more stressful, and the bills are much harder to pay, as now there is only one paycheck, providing for three people.

The quiet, intimate times that the husband and wife used to cherish, are now very rare, as the baby takes up most of their nonworking time.

Before you know it, stress builds and builds, and over time, one of the partners, sadly starts thinking that this is not what they was looking for, and the seed of destruction, starts growing until fighting and arguing, become a thing that was very rare, to an almost daily part of living together.

Soon the husband actually starts looking forward to going to work, just to get away from the stress of home life, and the wife feels almost as good having him gone, as she spends time with the child.

Amazingly, in a lot of these cases the wife says, even when the husband is home with her, she feels alone, and over time, one of the partners meets someone else, and this new person, seems exciting, and the old spark of lust starts building, and before you know it, cheating has begun, and the marriage that once seemed like it would never fail, is doomed.

The financial situation is just one of many problems that can grow and fester, and help destroy a marriage over time. One of the other greatest threats that I see and have felt myself is being set in ones ways, in other words, not being truly willing to compromise for the other person.

Marriage is and must be a 50/50 balance, most of us, gets to be very set in our ways, or independent on ourselves. This is more so of cases when one or both partners, have lived alone for a long period of time.

Living a solitary lifestyle for a long period of time, can cause a relationship or marriage to end, unless one is very willing to change. Living alone means, there are often very few demands or responsibilities involved with everyday living.

There is usually a job you have to go do, but besides that, what are the demands for the person living alone? You go to work, go to a store if you want, or come home and do what you wish.

If you come home, you can kick off your shoes where you want, and grab a bag of chips and a soda, turn the TV to any show or movie you want to watch, and then go to bed when you’re tired. You get up the next day and do the whole thing over again.

On your days off from work, you may sleep in until you want, you can go fishing, or do whatever you want, when you want to do it, you have the freedom and independence that living alone without much responsibility makes available.

When someone that has lived alone for a long period of time, meets someone, and begins a relationship, they experience great feelings of lust, which they think of as being love, but it is not. At this stage of the experience, both partners are willing to give up their old ways, just to be around and to please their new partners, then they get married, and slowly, reality begins to creep in.

When you come home from work, if you kick off your shoes like you used to, you may hear a few harsh words about being lazy, and that you need to place them in their proper place. You find that a meal has been prepared for you, but in the back of your mind, you would rather grab the chips and soda, that you always enjoyed eating, instead of having a meal that is prepared for you, without you choosing what it is.

You go to watch the TV show you always enjoyed watching, and when you change the channel, your spouse tells you, to switch it back, to the show she enjoys. You find yourself going to bed, even when you’re not tired, just to be by yourself.

Living alone and becoming set in our ways, means we must totally change our lifestyle and ways of thinking, when we get married, and it is very hard for a person or couple to do so. Overtime, the true colors or feelings of one or both spouses, come to the surface, and the relationship or marriage explodes with a furry of heated arguments and battles, until it ends in disaster.

Fortunately, many marriages do not fail and such are a real blessing to all involved.

If we knew what being a husband or wife truly means, many that got married would not do so, and others that got married, would understand how they should think, and feel, and expect from not only their partner, but most importantly themselves.

If you would like to know what the Bible says about this subject and lots of others, you may be interested in a great eBook that is available on Amazon, for the Kindle eBook reader. The eBook is called: WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY, and it actually shows Biblical verses about this subject, in detail, and it can be found at this URL: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0070OELMC

You may publish this article in your e-zine, newsletter or on your web site as long as it is reprinted in its entirety and without modification except for formatting needs or grammar corrections.

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Robert W. Benjamin has been an avid writer for years, and he has hundreds of different articles published on the internet, on numerous subjects of interest. Robert enjoys many things, including; fishing, taking one day bus trips, computers, internet, sky gazing and walking.

There is a great little eBook, that has the answers about many subjects of interest; What does the bible say: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0070OELMC

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