|
Although arranged marriages vary widely by region and community across the Indian subcontinent, they usually begin with a realization in the family that a child is old enough to marry. This can occur when a parent or an older relative (usually the mother or another trusted female relative, such as an aunt or an elder sister or sister-in-law) initiates a conversation on the topic, or the son/daughter approaches the parent/relative and expresses the desire to be married. This relative effectively acts as a sponsor, taking responsibility to get the boy/girl married to a good partner. Finding a matchmaker If the son/daughter has an identified love interest, the sponsor often takes it upon themselves to try and orchestrate a match with that individual. If no such person exists, the sponsor begins the process of identifying suitable candidates. This is usually done via an intermediary matchmaker who has a social reputation for maintaining discretion and brokering successful weddings Match criteria The family expresses their criteria for a good match to the matchmaker, which is usually heavily influenced by the personal preferences of the son/daughter but also includes family considerations. These considerations vary, but can include - * Religion: Marriages are usually arranged between individuals belonging to the same religion. Same-religion marriages are the norm in arranged marriages among higher caste people. * Caste and culture: Usually, first preference is given to the same caste. The ancestry of the individual and the family's culture and traditions also play an important part. Usually, prospective spouses are looked for from families belonging to the same region and having the same language and food habits. * Profession and status: The profession, financial position and the social status of the individual is also taken into account. * Physical fitness of the individual is taken into account in some cases. * Horoscope: Numerology and the positions of stars at birth is often used in Indian culture to predict the success of a particular match. This is sometimes expressed as a percentage, for example, a 70% match. Horoscope becomes a determining factor if one of the partners is Mângalik. Exchange of photographs/information with prospective matches The matchmaker identifies a set of potential matches and, based on mutual agreement between families, it is customary for an exchange of photographs and some documentation of the factors being considered (for instance, astrological charts or a resume/biodata) to follow. These items are usually returnable if the match does not proceed for any reason: in those scenarios, families customarily cooperate to eliminate any trace of a matchmaking conversation ever having existed between them. The son/daughter reviews the information and photographs, with input from the family and friends, and shortlists a few for in-person meetings. Meeting prospective spouses If the prospective partners express a desire to meet or if the families are enthusiastic about a potential match, it is customary for the prospective groom's family to visit the prospective bride's family. In this event, it is traditional for the boy's family to arrive (with the boy) and be seated with the entire girl's family except the girl herself, who then makes a dramatic entrance dressed in fine clothes, often bringing tea and refreshments with herself. This practice is sometimes called "seeing the girl" and has been attacked by some Indian and Pakistani feminists as a classic instance of gender-bias and the objectification of women. During this visit, the boy and girl are often encouraged to meet and talk by themselves in a separate room. The families usually part after this initial meeting without any commitment made by either side, and with the expectation that they will confer separately and send word through the matchmaker should they be interested in pursuing matters further. These meetings are understood to be non-exclusive, i.e. both the boy and girl are expected to similarly meet with multiple other potential partners at this stage. There is, however, an expectation of total confidentiality. Families do not usually disclose who else is being considered for their son/daughter and expect reciprocal confidentiality from the other party. If there is interest from both sides, the matchmaker passes the word in both directions. If the families are unfamiliar with each other or live in areas distant from each other, they will frequently launch inquiries through their social and kin networks, attempting to gather as much independent information as is possible about the prospective partner. Engagement Once there is mutual agreement between the prospective bride and groom that they would like to marry, and no red flags have emerged about either party in the inquiries conducted formally or informally, the other prospective spouses are declined and their photographs and other documents returned. Families usually attempt to maintain a high level of cordiality in these interactions, often invoking the idea of sanjog (predestined relationship, roughly equivalent to the idea that "marriages are made in heaven") to defuse any sense of rancor or rejection.An engagement ceremony or a pre-engagement ceremony (such as roka) follows. In urban areas, the future spouses are often expected to go out on dates and develop a romantic relationship in the period between their engagement and their wedding. Ashok, for information on Arya Samaj Mandir Arya Samaj Marriage Arya Samaj Wedding Intercaste and Inter Religion Marriage,arranged marriage, Arya Samaj,Marriage Bureau and Arya Samaj Marriage Certificate.Please visit our site :http://www.aryasamajmarriage.org.in/
Related Articles -
Arya samaj marriage, Arya Samaj Wedding,
|
