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Maybe you've had more than a few encounters with loss and grieving in your life and rather than dwelling in the past, you'd like to use these experiences to help others. Perhaps you have just found that you've got a particular knack for making others feel better in their times of need. If you want to become the ultimate support system for your loved ones, there are a few particular things you can do and say to provide the perfect level of comfort as they grieve. Familiarize yourself with the stages of loss and grief initially. This will help you to understand what those in mourning are feeling and how to respond to them. It usually starts with denial, which turns into anger, then bargaining (if only I had been there when it happened / if only I took them to a better doctor), then depression, and finally, acceptance. It helps to be the initiator. Those who are in need don't often reach out and ask for help, despite how much they may need it. Don't tell them to call you if you need anything; instead, make it a point to reach out and call them. When going to their home, don't ask if there's anything you can do to help; instead, take it upon yourself to wash the dishes, bring over a meal, walk their dog, or anything else that will reduce the number of things they need to worry about. The one thing that seems to help anyone dealing with a loss is reminiscing. If they're ready to talk, bring up the good memories between them and the lost loved one, or ask them to tell you a story. Shed light on the fact that they were lucky just to have known the departed person, and though their time together was short, it was high quality. You may even want to make them laugh with a funny memory involving the one they lost. Something that's difficult for some people in grieving is dealing with guilt. Whether there's a legitimate reason to feel guilty or not, part of the grieving process is feeling as though you weren't a good enough friend or family member while you had the chance. Reassure them that these feelings, while normal, have no basis in truth, and remind them of all the good they have done to bring light to that person's life. If you find that you want to go the extra mile in helping out, you might want to become a minister . Ordained ministers can officiate funeral services and memorials, and you can help to make the experience more personal – and therefore, more meaningful.
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