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We have all heard tales of those who struggle with the empty nest. For goodness sake, there is even a syndrome named after the empty nest. I remember learning all about it in my college human development classes many years ago. According to the Mayo Clinic, empty nest syndrome is characterized by depression and behaviors that are often brought on by depression. Some pretty serious stuff. The experts say that maintaining a reasonable level of communication with your children, along with staying socially and physically active are important coping mechanisms. So what is an “empty nest” exactly? It is a metaphor for the time in life after the last child (usually the youngest) leaves your home, or “nest”. Years ago, it seemed you were simultaneously talking to bill collectors on the phone and trying to fish out a toy car from the toilet; all with a toddler crying in the background and another child yelling, “Mom!! I can’t find my hamster!!” You dreamed of the day when there would no longer be piles of laundry and nights filled with vomiting little ones. But as the day drew nearer for that last birdie to fly the coop, you found yourself anything but elated. Don’t worry. Most parents experience empty nest symptoms to some degree. A couple of decades ago, an eighteen year old young man graduated from high school. Like most graduates he got a party. So did his mother. She is my mother too. I grew up in a family with eight children. My oldest brother started school in 1958. My youngest brother graduated in 1995. Mom had school age children in the 50’s, 60’s, 70’s, 80’s, and 90’s!! These were consecutive years—almost forty of them. I think she deserved a party! Although she was glad her days of PTA meetings were gone, she did not look forward to an empty nest. While the empty nest is a phase of life that is recognized, where is the outcry for those with the “emptying” nest? It may not be as challenging as the feeling of loneliness and the identity crisis that might ensue after the last child leaves, but it can be a struggle nonetheless. In fact, some parents have told me that sending their eldest child out into the world was more difficult than sending the youngest. This is likely because it is a new experience—so many unknowns. Whether it’s your first young adult child or your last, remember to give them some room to spread their wings while staying in close contact. Express your excitement for the start to their new future! It’s okay for your child to know you are missing them, but if you are struggling, turn to an adult for support. Make use of your new-found time by taking up a hobby or starting a home business. If they have moved far away—especially for college or the military—send them a little something every so often. When I was both in college and living overseas, I loved getting cards and care packages. A cookie bouquet is another great idea. There are companies who ship care packages—saving you from having to shop, package, and ship. It won’t be long before your little birdies build nests of their own. Until then, stay strong, mamas and daddies! See many care packages and unique gift baskets in my store. www.redrubiesbaskets.com
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