Two weeks ago, I went for a bra fitting. Having been told by dozensof style experts that 137 percent of women wear the wrong bra size,I fully expected to be told that my 34C was FAR toosmall/big/narrow/high/thick/whatever for my frame. Miraculously,the lingerie shop owner confirmed that I was already wearing thecorrect size. I will admit to feeling slightly smug about this.
My smugness dissipated as she began to show me a dazzlingassortment of silky, frilly, and coyly transparent bras in everystyle and shape imaginable. I'd worn my one cute bra to thefitting: A satin leopard print that fit beautifully, but featuredthick straps and strangely stodgy detailing. Somehow, justglimpsing the universe of beautiful underthings that I'd beenstudiously ignoring for the past 20 years made me feel anxious.Virtually all of my friends wore and adored gorgeous lingerie, butI'd dismissed it as a frivolous expense and focused on flatteringbut practical underthings for myself. Yet as I discussed thephysics of bras with the owner -- learning about underwireplacement, the importance of band fitting, and how different styleswould achieve different silhouettes -- I knew I needed to formulatea plan. A panty plan.
My private bits are fantastically fussy. I have been blessed withperpetually erect nipples that defy even triple ply fabrics, soit's naught but padded bras for me. I also suffer from a group ofreproductive issues that would turn your head around, and mygynecologist has browbeaten me into wearing cotton panties.Forever. As a younger gal, I splurged on satin Vicky's Secret brasand lacy thongs, but eventually I resigned myself to nude bras(they never show through anything) and whatever cotton pantyoptions I could find at Target (they're easy and cheap).
In thedays after my fitting at the lingerie shop, I strapped on my plainnude Bali bra and nude cotton hi-cuts feeling utterly dissatisfied.I don't believe that wearing comfortable underwear is a symptom of"letting yourself go," or that tight, sheer underthings areinherently superior to soft, opaque ones. But in my specific case,I'd decided that there couldn't possibly be any options that fit myrather specific physical and comfort-related needs that were ALSOcute or sexy. I mean, when do you actually get the best of bothworlds? Approximately never, right? So why even look? But my curiosity had been piqued at that bra fitting, and look Idid. As it turns out, my beloved and perfectly-fitting Bali bracomes in red, bright blue, and several cheeky prints.
I trackeddown lace-trimmed cotton panties from Vanity Fair, Hanes, andNatori. I even gave Victoria's Secret a second look, and discoveredthat their cotton offerings are absolutely darling and surprisinglyaffordable . It felt utterly liberating to consign those old, oversizedhigh-cuts to the rag pile, so exciting to place that fire-enginered bra lovingly into my lingerie drawer. Don't get me wrong: Thenudes stayed.
I wear a lot of white, and haven't quite embraced thedark-bra-sheer-top trend, so I'm not about to relinquish myskin-tones. But now I have options, color, print, embellishment.Now I can choose. And I feel transformed. I've heard so many women sing the praisesof pretty lingerie as a tool for boosting personal power, and thepractice always made sense to me intellectually.
Wearing a gorgeousbra and knicker set beneath your clothes can be a way to honor yourbody, to keep a secret and subtle sexual charge going throughoutthe day, to feel pretty and powerful in a very private way. Yes,lingerie is lovely in the bedroom, but it can be fun and empoweringin daily use, too. Or so I was told. But I'd stubbornly decidedthat I couldn't play the game myself, that my own needs were toospecific and my own plain options wholly sufficient.
How wrong Iwas. I am delighted to find that wearing my new bold bras andbright panties makes me feel polished and pulled together inentirely new ways. I'm walking taller, smiling more, feelingbeautiful and strong from the inside out. Finding clothing that suits your needs, body, and budget can bechallenging. Finding undergarments that suit your needs, body, and budget can bean absolute nightmare , especially if you fall outside the narrow spectrum of averagesizes.
There are a few resources that cater to specialty sizes -- Itty Bitty Bra , Cacique , and the wonderful world of Bare Necessities to name a few -- but they can be expensive, fitting can be tricky,and that perfect bra and panty set may still elude you. I know fullwell that I'm lucky to have spent an afternoon scouring my localMarshalls and trolling Amazon, only to unearth an entirely new,utterly perfect lingerie wardrobe for myself. For many, it won't beso easy. Not by a long shot.
But I feel compelled to recommendcolor, pattern, and embellishment to anyone feeling bored anddissatisfied with her undergarment options. Look when you can, buywhen you find, wear when the mood strikes.You, too, might beastonished to discover how powerful a set of pretty panties can be. Image courtesy Michael McGraw . Pictured is a row of bras at La Bratique , the Minneapolis lingerie boutique that brought me in for afitting.
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