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Marriage is not a simple matter of getting married and living happily ever after. A happy long term relationship takes a ton of work and it is usually worth it. There is no mistaking the fact, however, that a significant number of marriages don’t make it. If you are in an unhappy marriage and considering divorce, there are some issues you need to contemplate. The first thing to consider is the reason you are contemplating divorce. Try to step back and really think about how important it is and whether you’ve communicated your unhappiness to your spouse. All marriages go through ups and downs. This is simply natural and deciding to get a divorce because there is a lull in the relationship isn’t usually a good move. The lull needs end, obviously, but getting counseling can often help accomplish that. The second thing to consider is whether you still have feelings for your spouse. Again, you need to step back from the relationship and contemplate your true feelings. Don’t do it in the heat of an argument or just after one. If you do have feelings, the marriage is worth trying to save. Problems unrelated to feelings can often be overcome. A lack of feeling cannot. Why are you contemplating divorce? What do you think it will accomplish? If you can pinpoint a particular problem, then there may be a solution. You and your spouse can contemplate the problem and work on a compromise. You’ll undoubtedly need counseling to get communication lines opened up again, but it is worth it. If you are contemplating divorce because you no longer can stand being around your spouse, then the marriage is in serious trouble. Some marriages are worth saving and can be saved. Some are not and can’t. Making rash decisions or emotional ones is usually not a great move. Counseling can go a long way to getting you and your spouse communicating. That’s the first step to solving problems and getting a realistic evaluation of whether the marriage can or cannot be saved. Thomas Ajava writes about the pros and cons of divorce and provides divorce advice at DivorceAdviceCounselors.com.
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