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If you have ended a relationship recently, it probably still hasn't really sunk in yet, and still might be feeling a little numb right now. The best thing to do at this point is to take advantage of this feeling and just keep moving before any heavy emotions start to set in and cause you to shut down for a while. The following list of things you need will help you to get through this rough period, get out some of that pent up aggression, and move on with your life as fast as possible. You don't need to spend a lot of money but, if you're hurting and you have the extra cash, all of the items listed are a great idea. #1 - A large BOX. Find yourself a nice strong box, and some tape of course, and go around your house or apartment collecting any items that belong to your ex. Don't throw anything away (at least not right now), because that would just be mean. Take any pictures, coffee mugs, letters, his baseball glove, and her extra hairbrush, everything that they either gave you or left behind. This includes his old sweatshirt that you like to wear around the house, or the panties that she left after that first 'big' night. Yeah, it might hurt a bit and might even get you all choked up while you're doing it, but afterwards you will thank yourself. Give the box to a trusted friend who can then deliver it to your ex for you and maybe collect the box that the the now ex together containing your stuff. If you don't want to get rid of it, you can ask them to hold onto it for 60 days while your head clears and you figure things out. A garbage bag also works for this if you can't find a box. #2- A book of matches, lighter fluid and a fire extinguisher. If your break-up was ugly for whatever reason, and you have a nice backyard where you can have a fire (legally, of course) a book of matches and some lighter fluid can help you to burn all of your ex's belongings and roast some marshmallows while you're at it. Invite some friends over to help, and keep a fire extinguisher on hand just in case all that garbage starts to burn out of control. #3- A Camera. Use the camera to take some great pictures of you and your friends burning up all of that sickly-sweet crap. A Polaroid camera is best so that, as the fires starts to go down, you can throw the pictures you just took into it and burn them too. (You really don't want to be reminded of your ex in any way, shape or form.) #4- Bubble-bath soap and scented candles. If you're a woman, you'll want these for after the fire so you can take a nice, relaxing bath and get rid of that stinky fire smell. If you're a guy, get whatever soap and deodorant that she used to hate and wash with that, knowing that she would hate it and loving that fact. #5 - New Music. Now is a great time to invest in some new music. Whatever genre you like, whatever style, anything new will help you to get over your ex more quickly. The last thing you need to do is sit around listening to that CD mix that she made you or jog around town with those tunes he bought you on iTunes blaring into your ears. Did you guys listen to country together? Best to switch to rock for a while. Whatever you do, don't keep playing 'your song' over and over, unless you really want to go mental. #6 - A good Book or two. Nothing can take your mind off an ex better than diving into a good book. Whatever the subject, be it mystery, science fiction, or even a trade journal, if you're reading a great book you'll be spending less time thinking about old what's-their-name. If you don't like books, then get a new video game, a few new magazines, or buy that TV show collection on DVD that you've always wanted. Anything to keep your mind occupied with thoughts other than those of your ex. #7- If you're a health nut, a new punching bag and gloves will help you get in shape and get out some of that pent up aggression. Not your style? How about some new running shoes, a gym membership, or a new tennis racket? Any type of sports equipment will do, just as long as you use it and use it hard. #8- A new Ice Cream Scoop is a great idea for a little bit of wallowing in self-pity. Just don't use it too often or wallow too much because self-pity isn't good for the soul. This should be bought at the same time as you buy some of your favorite ice-cream of course and, at least for right now, it doesn't have to be the low fat yucky kind that you hate. #9- For the ladies a gift certificate to the salon is a great idea. Not only will you get out and talk to other gals but you'll get a nice new 'do' and get those nails done and feel good about yourself. #10- For the guys, a couple of tickets (for you and your best bud) to a concert, monster truck rally, or anything manly that you can do with a bunch of guys is the best. The more she hated it, the better. Byron Havenoff is one of many moderators at WorstBreakUpEver.com, a site devoted to letting people discuss their breakup stories so that they can find comfort in a community and begin to heal. He enjoys providing information about how to break up to those who aren't sure of what to do so that they can end their relationships peacefully.
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