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Participants: Satan (S), 1st Devil (D1), 2nd Devil (D2), 3rd Devil (D3) Environment: Dark but extremely hot. S So, we have successfully completed the Second World War and one in Korea and have others in the hot line. Well done! But I think we need to heat-up things in new areas. D1 New areas? Like what? S Oh, for evils sake. Can’t you think up anything for yourselves that Him upstairs won’t like? What’s His favourites? D2 Well, He’s always on about stupid things like life and love. S (sticking his sharp fork into D3). There you are! Work on that! D3 Err… Make more accidents? S And just create more work for us. Why not get them to do something? Can’t you think of anything new? A bit different? So they do it themselves? Silence. S Think! Where did he decide life was to start? D1 Oh, with that intercourse thing they all like to get up to. S Right! That’s where it starts. With babies. D1 So we stop them conceiving babies? S (digging it with his fork). No, idiot. We let them both conceive babies and then get rid of them! What about that? That would really upset Him. And we encourage them to become more promiscuous and then they kill-off the results! It would deal with love and life at the same time! That will really make Him sick. D2 Some of them already have abortions. S But we are going to create so many more. Abortions are illegal. So we’ll legalise them! S1 Legalise them? Who would agree to that? S Haven’t you learned anything about the nature of humans? Do you think I only achieved the right for apple-eating in Eden? More silence. S Look, just find some politicians and medics who want to increase people’s freedom. Right? There are always some around who don’t believe in God and so don’t know how much freedom He has already given them. They confuse more freedom with less freedom. They think more freedom is doing more of what Christians don’t want. S2 So? S So what? Was it only idiots who followed me down here? If you want humans to persuade each other to destroy life, that’s simple. Whisper to them about redefining life. First, let them use the medical terms for new babies more often and call a baby in the womb a foetus or an embryo. What sounds less like a baby than that? Then, this… thing doesn’t become human until, well, anytime they will accept. Say 24 weeks. So up to 24 weeks it’s not a life they are destroying, just a foetus! Laughs from S, S2 and S3. S1 But who’s really going to believe rubbish like that? S (severely jabs S1 several times). Don’t you know anything? What about advertising? S1 Advertising? Advertise abortions? S No, you half wit… Well, maybe that’s an idea we could use later. In the meantime look at all the rubbish humans buy just because it’s advertised. Look at TV ads! They are telling people ridiculous lies all the time. So tell them the lies often enough and they’ll come to believe them! Having a new car or a new toothbrush will make you happy! So will an abortion! Get in there and keep telling them. OK, some medics will not be too happy, but you’ll find enough who are – and politicians will go for anything that seems trendy and might get them back into office. Series of umms and smiles. S2 So we get humans to kill each other! That a great idea – and saves us having to do lots of work. And we get at Him upstairs in two ways, ‘cause they can’t love each other while killing each other! S3 Wait a minute. If we can use this idea of redefining when life starts, we could use it to redefine it when life ends! S Very good. Now we are moving. Develop that. S3 Well, God made these people to get old, right? S Of course not! That was one of my greatest innovations, numskull. I worked like he… Well, very hard in Eden to bring that about. S3 Right. OK. But now they do get old. The older they get, the more feeble they get, right? S Well, some more than others. Go on. S3 So, when they get older they stop working and then can’t do as much – they become unproductive! The older they get, the more unproductive they get. So we can tell them that’s not really living and time they were moving out. S Moving out themselves – but also being moved out! Given a few injections of the right stuff, eh? Of course, we need the politicians here again. Some of them are already on their way down here and actually want to introduce euthanasia. Killing each other again. They’ll be easy, but the medics will be more difficult with their hypno-whatsit oath. So we’ll need to keep repeating a few good sob stories to convince the people – and then the people will convince them. S1 This is going to be really great. Can’t wait to get going. S Of course, then there’s marriage. S2 Marriage? But lots of them are doing without that already. Anyway, its one of His favourites. And it can be very useful to us. We don’t want to get rid of that, do we? S Of course not. Now, be crafty. I like being crafty, especially when it turns things upside down. S1 Upside down? S Redefine again, eh? What? Tell me what marriage is. S3 Well, it’s when He told them that man and woman join together and become one. S Man and woman, eh? Well, do you need a nudge here? S1 Man and dog? S Are you a complete numskull? What about man and man or woman and woman? S1 Man and…? Woman and…? But that’s not marriage. S (jumping up and down with excitement and jabbing everyone with his fork) Exactly! Exactly!! Exactly!!! It’s not marriage! It can’t be marriage!! So we redefine it and make it marriage!!! Get up there and grab the politians and make sure they do a really good job of all this! AUTHOR: Anthony Keith Whitehead This article is copyright but may be reproduced providing that all the information here is included: christianword.co.uk. Together with his wife Iris, Keith has over thirty years in Christian healing, teaching, counseling and writing ministries. Plus a wide range of secular employments before being called by the Lord into full time independent ministry in 1987. With his wife Iris he has ministered both in the UK and USA. Has written several books on healing, meditation and various aspects of spirituality. Formal qualifications include: B.A. M.Phil. Cambridge University Certificate in Religious Studies Post Grad Cert in Education. More information on books is at christianword book
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Satan, marriage, redefinitions, politicians, medics, abortion, euthanasia, life,
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