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Forty nine percent of all marriages in the United States end in divorce. While that number may pale in comparison to Sweden's sixty four percent, it is still off the charts. It's easy to blame those numbers on the changing society. There is some school of thought which believes that a return to 1950's standards is just what this country needs. After all the divorce rate was only about ten percent. The belief in some quarters is that couples took their vows more seriously back then and worked harder to make their marriage a success. But in many ways looking back to a bygone era with rose colored glasses or blaming the decade to follow for the "declining standards" is a copout. The primary reason for the success of failure of any marriage has always been the same; and that is whether the two individuals involved can make it work. One of the ways to increase your chances of success rate is to accept the fact that there is no such thing as a perfect marriage. The courting stage all the way up to the walk down the aisle and the honeymoon may be the most wonderful period of your life. No arguments, both of you on the same page when it comes to decisions and goals. Everyday it feels like the love and bond you share cannot get any better but somehow it does. That's all good and hopefully the two of you will take some of that magic and use it as a foundation to build your long term relationship. The problem is too many couples fool themselves into believing that the magic will take care of itself or that it will always be there exactly as it was during the dating phase. That is not so. Marriage is like farming. The land may be beautiful with good soil and the potential to yield an incredible harvest. But it will either stay as it is or grow more barren and wither away if someone does not take the time, energy, patience and lots of hard work to make it a success. Sure there are circumstances outside of your control that can make cultivating the marriage difficult. This is why it is essential that you and your spouse keep reaffirming to yourselves and each other that you both are in this for the long haul. Accept that it is going to be tough going at times but also acknowledge that you knew this going in. You also understand and accept each other's strengths and weaknesses. Nobody is perfect so suddenly being "surprised" at a character trait that you once thought of as cute is not going to cut it. And don't try to change your significant other to someone more to your liking. Doing so will only make the both of you miserable. People have to develop and grow in their own way. You can only help with that not force it upon them. All too many couples have let themselves be deceived by the dating stage of their relationship. They really believe it's going to be music and sunshine all the time with very little effort needed on this part. This love in bloom will forever and always carry them to the land of marital bliss. If it were so than the divorce rate would be at zero percent. Marriage is a tough road with many obstacles. Nothing is promised but accepting that it is going to take hard work and constant commitment from each of you can make the journey a little easier. Article written by Daryl Campbell - The Relationship Tip - How can you easily screw up your relationship beyond repair? Find out at The Relationship Tip
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