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Victims of Domestic Violence Can Be Helped by Mike Selvon





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Victims of Domestic Violence Can Be Helped by
Article Posted: 11/17/2008
Article Views: 146
Articles Written: 2559
Word Count: 555
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Victims of Domestic Violence Can Be Helped


 
Family & Parenting
"I'm not being abused," you tell yourself. After all, he hasn't hit, punched, choked, slapped or cut you. Although, he did smash the entire set of plates on the kitchen floor last night and called you a "stupid whore." He did threaten to take the kids and move to Texas and revoke your allowance, and then told you that you'd never find anyone else willing to put up with you.

Victims of domestic violence often don't realize the cycle they're caught up in because it begins with a tension-mounting base, culminating with a violent episode, then returns to a period of calm, followed by a "honeymoon" make-up phase. The crime victim is often made to feel so insignificant that efforts to resist seem futile and the woman is left thinking that she can "change" him because "deep down" he must "really love" her.

So what puts a victim of domestic violence particularly at risk? Many studies have tried to sort out what makes a crime victim. One theory is that socioeconomic status plays a part.

Often, a woman of low income meets a man who controls "the power of the purse," so to speak. The man sometimes gives out a meager "allowance" to keep the woman enslaved to him and to exert his dominance further. He will demand that she account for every single penny.

When he looks at where she spends the money, he'll often use it as an excuse to justify his irrational, angry outbursts and ensuing violence. Sometimes, men will not allow their partners to work, or will take her paychecks and sabotage her job by showing up and shouting at her or will phone incessantly and disrupt her productivity. While the woman in the domestic partnership may really want to leave, she is held back by her inability to survive on her own.

Another theory is that victims of domestic violence are timid, nonassertive and often have low self esteem. Many repeat victims report being "anxious," "depressed," "out of control" or "emotionally tied" to their partners. Shy women are sometimes drawn to men with extreme confidence and assertiveness, only to find they are being completely manipulated and controlled.

With "Battered Woman's Syndrome," women feel too emotionally drained to leave the relationship, have no self worth, feel responsible for the violence, fears for her life, falsely believe the abuser is omnipresent, is prone to peacekeeping and fears the unknown.

Additionally, separated or divorced couples are involved in more domestic violence cases, followed by those who have never been married. Victims of domestic violence are often stalked by partners who cannot get over them or are trapped into a domestic abuse situation because they falsely believe "there is only one person for them" and that the abusers will change.

If you are going through a separation or divorce and fear your partner's adverse reaction, then you should call one of the abuse hotlines to develop a safe exit strategy. There are a whole host of resources out there to help you, whether you need a place to stay, an interventionist, a restraining order, a lawyer or counseling. So don't risk it!

Enrich your knowledge further about victims of domestic violence from Mike Selvon portal. We appreciate your feedback at our domestic violence information blog where a free gift awaits you.

Related Articles - victims of domestic violence, crime victim, domestic violence, abuser, domestic violence cases, abuse hotlines, restraining order,

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